Advice snippets

You've got a lot to read. 
You have a variety of titillating stimulants flashing across, popping up, tweeting or binging at you at any given moment.

In the spirit of our hyper-speed, multi-tasking, all-inclusive, macro, mini lives; here are a few advice quickies for all of you looking for a quick bit of something between your next big/little/medium thing flying into your atmosphere.....

Here are a few of my latest and greatest advice quickies that I try to use when I can actually remember to do so.....

• Our local organic market has the best price on roses.  They are beautiful and last longer.  
• Do not go shopping at Trader Joe's hungry.  Unless you need to stock up on snacks. Then, definitely go hungry and enjoy your new random purchases.
• Sometimes, people just need a hug.
• Kindness may not always be the BEST answer to a tough situation, but it usually helps things along.
• A good book can completely transform you.
• Get in the habit of listening.  
• Sometimes when you stop and take a breath, you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache.
• It's a lot easier to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right.  But when you focus on what is wrong, you might not recognize when something is right, right in front of you.
• Fruits and vegetables are incredible at keeping your body healthy.  
• Everything comes in seasons, so if things are good, ENJOY it!  If they're not, know that this time will pass sooner than you think.
• Wash your hands as often as you can.  You'll probably keep from getting sick.
• Everyone has a story.  
• When you're upset about something, and you're not sure if it's rational, call a trusted friend and share your story.  They may help you to realize how silly you are.
• Having friends to love is a tremendous blessing.
• Do your best!  If you can't do your best, see if you can outsource or get yourself to a place where you can.
• Learn at least 1 clean joke you can tell.
• Try to never interrupt.  

Few of these are NEW pieces of advice, but all are quick enough to be considered.  If you know me, then you know well that while I aspire to follow all of the advice above, I fall short of doing so pretty much all the time.  What are some of your favorite pieces of advice?  What do you keep in your framework or top of mind?  Comment and let me know.  In addition to always being free with advice, I'm always looking to improve on my list of quickies!

My ohmmm intention

So I know I am going to sound like a total hippie.  Which is somewhat humorous considering that I'm sitting in my kitchen, writing this indoors (when I could be sitting outdoors in the grass) wearing an awfully JCrew aspirational outfit, but whatever.  I suppose this is coming from my inner chakras, hippie, naturalist voice that is inside of me but not always seen from the outside.  Blame it on motherhood, my upbringing in northern California, or just the yoga I've been doing, 

I think the hippies may be on to something.   

I was very lucky this morning in that I got to go to a "hot yoga" class.  Yes, I too am surprised that I am painting luck over hot sweaty yoga, but go with me on this.  The teacher of the class was awesome.  He had verve, spunk and a contagious excitement that forced you into smiling.  In fact, we were given "extra credit"for smiling during the hard parts.  I am totally re-using that with my kids---but I digress.....

At the beginning of class, we were asked to set an intention for the class that would carry us through our day.  Being the type-A, wannabe suck-up student that I am; I did what we were asked.  I chose LOVE as my intention.   Because, in my current life zone, I'm finding that more LOVE tends to be the solution or at least tends to improve the situation almost universally.  I wonder, if I can continue to start each day and truly focus on setting an intention and carry that intention throughout the day.....

 Can I squeeze myself into the practice of setting an intention for the day and if I CAN,  will it hold  influence over my actions and thoughts during the hours I spend away from my pillow? 

If you're game, TRY it with me, and let me know what you find...

In case you're stumped on where to start, here are a few ideas of fun intentions to try:

Today I will focus on.....

 being AWESOME
Acting Silly
Being Calm
Having FUN
Caring for others
Being kind to myself
Showing kindness
Being Generous
CREATIVITY
Mindfulness
Having a dance party (or just consistently boogy-ing)
Laughter
Love

shhh.... baby sleeping

There is nothing quite like the calm of a house with a sleeping baby.  Especially at nap time.  I’m watching my nephew right now.  I am quietly tapping the keys of the keyboard, waiting for the moment to arrive when the house flips back “on” and is filled with music, drooling, laughing and winking.  He’s a 6 month old baby, I’m a 33 year old mother, so we pretty much act the same way when we’re playing.  And though I am certainly the oddball in our pairing, he is just not in a position to really choose much of what we do.  These few hours with the little babies brings me back to 2006, to 2008 and many of those days in between with my own two little ones.  Out of the haze of my own baby stage, I am able to recognize and remember today the way that babies can wrap you in hope.  Through their tiny, clear eyes, you can almost touch the human condition.  In most cases, they are unworried, responsive, and so expressive with what they need that they are able to show you the clearest answers to the complications we can create in life.  In a few years, it will be “No, no, no” and “ I WANT MY MOMMY!”.  But for now, it is peaceful baby breathing, delicious quiet, and some more drooly bouncing in the jumpy thing that plays 10 different tunes after nap time.

Hope you have a moment of delicious hope, humanity and love sometime in your day today.

Matter of time...

"Mom, this is a Chipmunks song!"

We were listening to "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga......

Question 1: When did Olivia watch a Chipmunks movie?

Question 2: How on earth did "Born This Way" figure into the movie plot about singing chipmunks?

Question 3: Am I approaching a time when my daughter is going to start informing me of styles and trends?

According to the latest ranges, I'm technically a part of Generation Y.  I'm still in my early 30's and under the impression that though I may not participate in many trends, I'm generally aware of them.   I base this statement on the fact that I typically have some level of recognition of at least one item on the cover of US Weekly.  However, my proximity to the "pulse" of what is going on, my grasp on the hip and happening is slipping, or arguably has slipped, or if you want to be really nasty – evaporated circa 2005.  I'm not completely out of touch, but there are definitely trends, sayings, and happenings that aren't targeted towards me and likely will be targeted towards my kids in the near future.  I don’t know if we’re there yet, and certainly my hope is that my interest in trends will keep me holding hands or in the outer circles of zeitgeist for a few more years, but I think my daughter just shared a very common phrase with me that will be echoed throughout the years ahead..

Thank you Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

It's a smelly lifestyle.....

My thought this morning, after providing breakfast, OT treatments, cleaning up rooms, doing PRT with my son, and cleaning up the kitchen all before brushing my teeth is that…..

 Mothering is a smelly job.

No, change that.  Mothering is a smelly lifestyle.   I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my “job” of being a mom.  I know it is super selfish and ungrateful and that I’m a horrible person, so you don’t need to tell me how lucky I am to have the opportunity to complain about being a mom since so many don’t get a chance to be in this position in the first place.  But it hit me this morning.  I’m looking at being a mom as a job, when really it is a lifestyle choice.  Just as being married is not a job, it is a choice you make (typically in a large white dress surrounded by friends and family) that changes your life trajectory.  I am hopeful this shift could help me relieve some of the stress that I’ve been under lately.  And keep things in perspective.  For example; if being a mom is my “job”, then I feel I’m failing at it miserably.  I haven’t been able to cure my child of his autism.  His tantrums and struggles break my heart and I cry a lot throughout the day out of frustration and anger. Also, while I think I am doing a pretty good “job” at raising my 4 year old, she does not have perfect manners, is not fed strictly organic food and thinks her mom is crazy (in a fun and loving way, but definitely crazy).   If being a mom is my “lifestyle”, maybe I can have a bit more leeway…… Maybe I can work at all of the things I am trying to achieve for my children, implementing better diet choices, researching new therapies and discipline strategies, but if they don’t instantly “work” then I can just keep trying them, keep plugging away at what I’m trying to create in our family (peace, love, harmony, good will towards men) and not measure myself against metrics that I can never quite hit…...?

Just a thought about a new way to attack the modern mommy problems.  You know, the ones we created for ourselves because we want the absolute BEST for our children and want them to become the most well-adjusted, healthy people they can be and we need to make it look effortless and like we have no struggles at all because everyone else seems to make it look that way.

Alright, I’m off to brush my teeth. 

Sledgehammer

I thought I might just get a chance to break down a door today.  It was locked and blocking me from my next step and I thought, rather than work slowly, painfully, without any hope, maybe I’ll just get that sledgehammer and break the door down.  It will be expensive, it will cause a lot of damage, but I’ll get that immediate solution I’m yearning for and a freedom from being blocked.  Jamming my fist against the door, my arms, my legs, and rattling the foundation of the house I realized; this is exactly how I feel in my life.  I want the quick cure. My life is blocked by a door and it keeps stopping me from doing the things I want to, and I am tired of being locked out.  I keep trying and trying and reading and working and still coming up against this door that is stopping my son and it keeps getting worse as he gets older.  We make progress, true.  But there are always these locked doors with no relief in sight.  I want my child to recover.  And if I could do a quick fix, make a change that would elicit results to get us to recovery;  I would do that and more without hesitation.  

I didn’t break down the door.  I desperately wanted to, wanted to see if I could take my temper that far out and demolish what was blocking me.  Instead, I used a grocery store coupon card.  Thanks to the advice of my husband, I worked it back and forth.  Saw no hope of making progress, just jammed it into a space and made it fit.  Kept pushing, shoving, and muscling slowly until the card popped the door open at last.  The lesson?  Get new door hardware in the house.    

Personal Trends for 2013 - a discussion

5 Personal Trends for 2013

Last week I had the opportunity to read "10 Crucial Consumer Trends for 2013"from Trendwatching.com.  If you're dying to know what trends they're predicting for the year ahead check out the link to the article at the bottom of this blog post.


The article got me thinking about what could be written about MY trends for 2013.  What would a biographer, a gossip magazine or even a video countdown record about YOU and YOUR trends for the year ahead?  What will your trends or habits be; and what changes would an outside observer predict for you?  Over the past 10 years I've had trends spike, come out strong and drop off completely,  or even begin with a creeping and grow into a mass that suffocated everything else. Some trends were grossly influential but brief; bottle feeding, newborn sleeping strategies, teething strategies.  And some trends have been evolving but permanent in their presence; mothering styles, marriage styles.

Here are a few examples of personal trends for the year ahead:

1. Diaper bag- OUT Adult purse- IN!!!  My kids are finally potty trained.  Now that they are also in school most days and mostly able to feed themselves wherever we go, I FINALLY am lacking a legitimate need for the diaper bag.  I have taken jaunts around town with kids with only a box of raisins as my support for them.  Liberating is a grossly ineffective term to describe how freeing this feeling is. 

2. Lip gloss- OUT  Lip stain- IN!
With kids in school, the opportunity to shower, dry my hair AND do my makeup have moved from The "highly unlikely"category of events (meaning that these actions typically occurred on vacation or date night) into the "highly likely"category of events.  I am clean - usually - and have an opportunity to enjoy the wonders of makeup.  I'm a big fan of the lip stain, and as I am still getting associated with the act of dressing myself, I also associating myself with the practice of reapplication.  A lip stain may be crumbling off your lips at 5pm, but I feel more confident with that look than without any evidence of lip love at all.  Hey, at least I tried right?

3.Magic Mommy Playstation- OUT, After-school Activity Circus- IN!
The days of coming up with ideas out of thin air, filling the long afternoon stretches with some inspired, educational, and entertaining idea to keep the kids engaged while counting the minutes until my husband would open the front door still occur, but they are the exception rather than the rule now.  Moments without structure, without somewhere to be or something to prepare for are evaporating from our filling family calendar, giving me time to really think more about lip stains. 

4. Saying whatever you want in front of your kids - OUT.  Utilizing your 4 year old to police your family - IN.
"Mommy, you can't start driving!  You DON'T have your seat belt on!!!!"
"Dad, we don't use the word HATE.  It's not a kind word"
Parenting has called me to try and become a better version of myself.  And in case I forget all the lofty goals I've set for my children, I have a 4 year old to remind me what is and what is not allowed in our home.  We can no longer swear or gossip in safety.  I have policed our family into a corner, and hopefully it will help get me closer to being the person I want my kids to model.   We are teaching our daughter to spell, so soon spelling the words we shouldn't be using anyhow is going to be out too.  Parenting, the ultimate lesson in accountability.  OY!!!

5. Being overly reactive to your spouse - OUT.  Choosing your battles and communicating clearly - IN.  
I've been working on this for a long time.  I'll be working on this for a long time.  I'll likely never master this one, but I hope to improve as time wears on.  I'm better at responding to challenges with my spouse than I have been in the past.  And I really think we are getting to the place where he understands that everything I say and do is right, even if it is wrong when I do it and then I admit it, I'm still right in some double-negative, crazy lady, ultra awesome wife type of way.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Everything I just wrote after the third sentence in this paragraph was a ruse to see if my spouse actually read this.

So here are some initial musings on what I am hoping to trend towards this year....what are some of your trends?  Your realities?  Your aspirations?  What choices are you going to make to trend towards something you want and away from what you don't want?  What is your life giving you that is causing a trend to emerge or diminish? I hope you find something great in every day this year has for you.  As promised, here is the link to the article that started this line of thinking......

http://www.trendwatching.com/trends/10trends2013/