Make ROOM

Today is the last day of school for most kids in our area.  We are at the summer starting line, waiting for the signal to hurry up and relax.  My brain is on a constant loop of " School's Out for Summer", "Summer Lovin''" and another song that I've been sinking into lately; " A Life That's Good" by Lennon and Maisy from the cast of the show "Nashville".

A few weeks ago at our church, the pastor was discussing social media and the reality that much of life is spent on our phones.  What resonated the most with me, was the concept of allowing for margin in our crazed, busy, instant download lives. 

MARGIN: a limit in condition, capacity, etc., beyond or below which something ceases to exist, be desirable, or be possible (www.dictionary.com)

When I pack, I see just how much I can fit into whatever carrier I have.  I carry large bags around and always find a way to fill them.  As a child, I was pretty committed to wearing a purse, in the event that something might occur and I might have the occasion to use whatever mish-mash of goodies I had toted along with me (thus affirming my insistence on carrying a purse).  When I create documents, I use the custom margin to fit as much on the page as I can. 

I like to be prepared.  I get more disappointed about finding myself in a situation without the hat/accessory/blouse/note/band-aid/etc. that might have come in handy than I do about things of FAR greater importance.   But this preparedness obsession in combination with my over-planning and over-packing tendencies are not leading away from having any margin.

Example:  
1. You spend a ton of time preparing (packing, pinterest-ing, planning).  Then you arrive at said moment where previous actions are useful.  
2. Before moment is over and often throughout the moment, you think of other things you might have done to be more prepared, and/or begin re-arranging or re-packing all of the "necessities" you brought. 
3. Conclusion:  You have spent more time preparing than living and enjoying.  Oops.

So this summer season, I am going to try and leave room.  For margin.  It will be difficult to be at peace with no plans.  I'll have more opportunities to let go of the fact that I don't have a kite or the perfect beach towel or the shimmery sunblock or that one beach toy that the kids love.  But my hope is that in the margin, blessed surprises fill in the spaces.  Moments of clarity, impromptu swim time with the kids, or a conversation with my child or a friend or my spouse.  Who knows?  I'm going to try it and hope you will too.

Here is the Lennon and Maisy song....hope it sets you off on a day that's good!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3wF_N2WdP4

I am Changing

Cue the following song as I talk about it...

Jennifer Hudson - I am Changing

It was my birthday last week, and I had the random opportunity to come across the following TED talk.  

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing

Essentially, the speaker Dan Gilbert shares that:

 

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." Dan Gilbert shares recent research on a phenomenon he calls the "end of history illusion," where we somehow imagine that the person we are right now is the person we'll be for the rest of time."(Source: www.ted.com)

This truth is one that I find to be incredibly enlightening and fantastically well timed.  After the ten year anniversary of my 25th birthday, I absolutely know a mountain's worth more.  However, what I wasn't considering is the reality that what I thought was important, that who I perceived myself to be and what my preferences were ten years ago would change as much as they have.

I love Dr. Gilbert's use of the "end of history illusion" the idea that who we are today is who we always will be.  In reaching my mid thirties, I accept that I have changed, my life has changed and that my preferences have changed, but in seeing this talk, I am reminded that I must also acknowledge that this will continue to happen, throughout time, until I die.

Here is a quick for instance:  On vacation last week, I was thinking about what I might like to do on my 40th birthday (have I mentioned that I suffer from chronic over-planning syndrome?  It is a syndrome that is synonymous with crazy and controlling).  I started to daydream about destinations for the celebraiton, who would be there, and of course, what I might be wearing. I began a mental pencil sketch of possible themed activities for the bash.  Then, in  a moment of clarity, I realized that where and how I celebrated my 35th birthday would have been pretty un-imaginable for me as my 30 year old self.  5 years ago I had no interest in surfing, and what I liked to do to celebrate was similar, but different than it is now.  

As scary as it is to beleive that we are always changing, I think it is scarier to beleive that we are not.  And today, I take comfort in the thought that what I will want to do, what my interests are, the things I know how to do will have grown and changed into something different then what they are today.  I used to tell people:

"I am not where I thought I would be but I think I'm where I am supposed to be" 

when describing my life.  And as I said it, I'd say it with a big smile covering up an obvious presence of disappointment.  And now, I think I'm beginning to understand:  

" I'm here!  And I don't know where I might be going - but I'm going to love it when I get there."

So hooray for change.  Hooray for Jennifer Hudson.  And Hooray for fun Ted talks.