Job Hunt

I have recently updated my resume and have been searching for work. The job market is definitely a tough one, and things are very different than they were when I was last employed. For example, the job I used to have has become somewhat obsolete, and though my skills are still certainly valuable, convincing a future employer that I am EXACTLY what they are looking for has proven to be a bit tough.

So I started thinking, what if I were to list all of the skills I have learned over the past few years of being a stay-at-home mom? What would that look like??

• Ability to set up and take apart advanced toy models including exersaucer, jumperoo, and various battery operated toys.
• Advanced level of comprehending non-verbal, screaming children, delivering sandwich, while driving, applying mascara and singing various children's songs.
• Creative ability to turn any daunting tasks into a song. Popular songs include: "Eat your peas" and "Potty Time".
  
• Strong interpersonal skills with terrorist toddlers in home and throughout the community. Ability to negotiate deal terms and avoid crisis on a 24 hour schedule.
• Extremely functional without sleep, food, or any personal maintenance. Ability to dress children, self, husband, and make 3 course meal for unexpected visitors under aforementioned conditions.
• Loving, upbeat attitude in the face of crisis, tremendous sales skills and creativity.
• Experience in advanced, multi-level operations. Able to balance the schedule of naps, meals, school, exercise, play dates, sports, therapies, holidays, and family time.
• Part time chef experience, working to create healthful meals with restrictive ingredients and unwilling participants.
• Advanced skill level in the following areas: sleeping strategies, containment of illness, potty training strategies, Applied Behavioral Analysis.
• Expert level room mom.
• Ability to carry infant car seat, infant, full load of groceries, diaper bag, purse, stroller and conduct a somewhat lucid conversation on a mobile phone.
  
• Extensive studies conducted on: local preschools, therapy clinics, autism resources, baby strollers, bottle types, pacifiers, kid-friendly restaurants, after-school programs, toddler clothing, and baby blankets.
• Advanced mastery of train sets, hot wheels, Disney princesses, puppet shows, and dance parties.

What would your personal life resume look like? While I don't think listing my extensive knowledge of "Thomas the Tank Engine" will ever help me to obtain a great job, I can't help but think my sales skills have certainly been sharpened by spending time with my kids. And if you ever need a toy set up in record time, well, you know who to call.......

Things I don't post on facebook...

A discussion on “authenticity” in the age of social networking.

Yes, I am doing this on my blog….IRONY!!

So I woke up Sunday morning, padded softly into my son’s room, and smelled the pungent stench of poop. The room was covered in poop, and so was my son. His beloved blankey, was not innocent in the hailstorm of excrement either. My first thought?

“I should seriously post this on facebook”.

I post adorable pictures of my two little angels. I don’t typically rant, or share thoughts or comment on the weather / traffic / state of political affairs / or much else. Nope, I save that for my blog, or a phone conversation with a friend. On facebook, as on my annual Christmas card, my life is full of love and adorable, even “SO cute” moments. It is not covered in poop. No, my REAL life, my authentic life is quite often covered in poop, milk, cereal, scratches and bacon grease. In this age of authenticity, transparency, are we all just becoming less real? If we pour our time, energy, mantras, thoughts all into these image producing, social sharing outlets, how does that affect who we truly are and how our lives really work?

I am all for privacy. I grew up in an arguably very WASP-y environment, my mother was all about image, and what people thought of us. She was an interior decorator, and constantly struggled to keep our home at a “model home” level of perfection. She was pleased when we emulated that level of order and type, and furious when we were too authentic. I struggle with this all the time. Deep down, I still strive to be perfect, and authentic. To create order, and peace, harmony, love, style, originality, humor, and a great canapé. But where is the line? I don’t think it’s possible to achieve all of the listed goals at once, if at all (note: my canapés are constantly soggy – boo freakin’ hoo). And is all of it really important anyhow? I don’t know, but I do think, every once in a while you have to share the moments that are real, so that when they happen to someone else, that person a: doesn’t think they’re crazy and b: can call you to find out the best method for chipping excrement out of a bed frame.