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I am not an expert, this advice is intended to be helpful and humorous, with flashes of wit. Please know this is a futile attempt at getting the world to do things the way I see fit.

If you need advice on any topic, I'm happy to help you by either giving my own recommendations, or seeking out recommendations from others, then claiming them as my own. If you have no sense of humor, please do not read this blog.

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"I told you so!"

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Learning to Surf




Last year, my dad was lamenting that he was jealous of my husband’s ability to surf.  Being the handy helper that I am, I told my dad I’d take surfing lessons with him, and we could both learn how to ride the waves.  I assumed, incorrectly, that surfing would be like most sports.  You learn the mechanics, practice them, and within a short period of time, you’re able to “do” whatever is needed to participate (or, possibly be exceptionally good at the “do” and brag to your husband that he is incredibly lucky to have such a talented wife).  

REALITY is often times a universe away from my imaginings.

I assumed I would be “good” at surfing.  And yeah, I assumed my dad at age 60 plus plus, who was a professional athlete (football), played two college sports (football and rugby), still plays polo (horses not water), and who throughout my life always seems to have the golden touch in all things athletic would be a natural as well at this easy breezy surfing thing.

WRONG.

Surfing is hard.  Or, it was hard for us (perhaps there are natural surf wunderkind out there – congratulations to you - I am jealous).  We paddled out into the frigid water, I balanced my belly on my board with my toes in the air to slow the numbing process - did I mention I scheduled these lessons in February???  

 Overall execution – check.  
 Details –eeeehh scoring in the low range.   

 And we floated, we listened, we tried, and flailed around.  Our instructor was the epitome of patient with us, and we worked hard, but we didn’t leave the beach as experts.  We left as popsicle versions of ourselves, wondering if we could manage the next two days of lessons I had dutifully scheduled. 

Day two, my dad quit early in.  He was beyond his breaking point of frustration and decided he wanted to go back to doing something he enjoyed (and was good at).  During day two; I was able to improve and was still cold, but became surprisingly motivated to keep trying.  I realized, that yes, surfing IS hard, but it is also incredible.  You’re literally surrounded by the earth’s beauty, and all five of your senses are stimulated by the surroundings.  Once the lessons were over, a new friend and I started to go out and flail around pretty regularly.  We weren’t setting any records, but we were laughing a lot and enjoying the scenery.  It’s been a year and a half and I’ve taken 2 additional sets of lessons.  Each time I’ve taken lessons, it is helpful, but I still have a long, long, looooooong way to go before I can claim to be knowledgeable when it comes to surfing.  

 Because surfing is hard, it offers you the opportunity to feel continuously humbled (when a 12 year old is ripping past you wiggling his toes on the nose) and prideful (when you are able to improve to some small degree at something that you’ve been working towards).  It also forces you to not take yourself so seriously.  There are tons of cheesy metaphors I could throw in here, about surfing giving you a connection to mother earth, or that surfing the waves is like riding the changing tides of life.  Though both statements are true, I think everyone who does try to learn to surf, does it for their own reasons, and that those reasons likely evolve over time.   

I started out wanting to have an excuse to use all of the surf equipment in our garage and thought it would be a cool way to get into shape.  Now, I think it gives me time to laugh with a friend, and reminds me to enjoy the ocean.   

So if you want to learn how to surf, find a friend, take some lessons, keep your sense of humor close and your expectations in the car.  Enjoy the flail.  After each time, your ego may be bruised, but your spirit might be leavened by the salty sea and the scenery around you. 

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What NOT to do when you're headed to Lake Powell

We are back.  We have actually been back from our Lake Powell house boating adventure for a while, but things seem to have quieted down enough to dash off this blog post that will no doubt change your entire......next five minutes :).  I hope you laugh (or at least consider it) and feel more prepared at the end.

Our family and 3 other families made the trek to Lake Powell (on the Arizona/ Utah border) for our first annual "Trip of a Lifetime" house boating adventure.  Among us, I think there were 2 adult house boating novices.  The balance of the adult population had varying levels of experience.  On my last house boating adventure I accidentally roofied myself by drinking liquid from a water bottle that was not in fact water.  The memories were fun, but are not filed in the kid-friendly drawer.  4 of the adults had a tremendous amount of house boating experience, as kids, as college aged hooligans, and as adults.  But the group itself had never all traveled together.  The outcome was pretty incredible considering there was a large chance we could have ended up making Anasazi voodoo dolls of one another by the end.

But who has the time to hear about every detail?  There is a reason you don't live in my brain. It's cluttered, fast paced, and achingly detail-oriented (I could probably stretch a 30 second anecdote into a novel) but I digress.....

Here are the top 3 things you should NOT do in preparation for and during your Lake Powell house boating trip:


1.  Pack a lot of clothes.
Yes, I realize if you have followed this blog, that I JUST SAID last time I wasn't going to do this, but guess what???  I totally did it anyhow.  I brought a weekender bag and a beach bag filled with at least 50 items I did not need.  Including:
  • 2 sweatshirts - HA HA HA- it was 90 degrees at night.  Unless you are looking to dehydrate yourself to beef jerky level, leave these at home.  I know, everyone says that, but seriously, don't bring them.
  • Workout Clothes.  If you are going to hike (which I would have done if I had planned to go beyond beef jerky to crystallized salt in that heat) you'll likely be doing it in your swimsuit.  I know, I know, we all said it before too "I am JUST not the type to walk around in my swimsuit, that is so so sooooo not me."  Well guess what?  You will.  You totally will.  Because you'll be out in the desert and with your family and friends and you really won't care.  Because you'll be empowered by the fact that it IS HOT and if one of the other husbands is checking you out, that is just plain weird.
  • More than 2 outfits for a 5 day trip.  You will wear your swimsuit all day (and will probably go jump in the lake at night right before bed to cool down).  You will not be wearing clothes often.  Lake Powell apparently is the clothing vortex
2. Bring a ton of food.
Again, I am a total hypocrite.  My obsession with being prepared added on approximately 17 hours to my trip in the time it took to shop for the additional unnecessary food, pack it up, unpack it on the boat, and pack it back home.  My husband really is just the LUCKIEST :)!  Ooopsie, didn't realize my family wasn't going to turn into snack monsters on vacation.  It's hot.  You're force feeding your kids water and things that are hydrating, not salty pretzels.  They also aren't hungry because they are kind of dehydrated.

3. Have a bad attitude.
This one was hard for me, I really struggled on this vacation at the beginning.  It is totally out of my comfort zone, and wasn't under my control (compounding the anxiety / comfort-zone cycle) and it wasn't an easy start for our Autistic son.  I thought I was gracefully suffering in silence until my husband delicately alerted me to the fact that I definitely was not.  The vacation was an adventure and we truly were away from it all (meaning there was no way we were going back to the creature comforts and familiarity I was missing).  So there was nothing left to do but relax, try to go with the flow, and have fun where and when you can. 

Next time I will be better.  I learned a lot on this trip.  Not only about silly details of how to pack, but more about how to be a better mom on vacation.  And I had a chance to realize that my kids may not always need the mom that is prepared and providing for their every need at every moment - they may need a mom who can have fun and just be with them.  Without a sweatshirt and an agenda.
Success after 3 days- our son in the water and seeming to have fun