8 go-to pieces of advice used all year long...

Before 2012 comes to a close, I thought it might be nice to do a quick wrap up of some of my favorite pieces of advice.  Some were used more frequently this year than others; some are simply re-worded classics that seem to always find a way to be applicable.

1. Advice is typically free for a reason.  Therefore, consider the source (and how informed your source is on the matter at hand) prior to application.

Like that?  How I did that there?  Yes, this is a worthwhile blurb, and yes, it is also a disclaimer, right there at the top of this post.  I do love the opportunity to multi-task!

2. It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.  This is on a sign at my daughter's preschool.  While I find myself struggling (maybe even clawing) for glory, kudos, and overall adulation from time to time, I know in my core that being known as important isn't actually what I am striving for.  In the end, I would rather be known as a nice person.

3. People would rather be around a happy host (or hostess as the case may be) than be in a spotless home.  A casual poll that I took taught me that if you are going to skip something, consider skipping sweeping up the floor since it will get dirty anyhow and people are rarely examining your floor when they visit.  This Thanksgiving and throughout the Christmas season, I've struggled to put the dustpan away and simply smile and enjoy the company of my guests, and I try to remind myself that no one wants to watch someone else clean.  Someday I may have a home that is spotless, but I'm not going to put time with friends and family on hold until that day.

5.  Relax!  It is not your job to judge others.  You may be a splendid judger, picker apart-er, passive down-looker, but guess what???  You're spending all of your time doing something you are COMPLETELY unqualified to do AND a negative task that no one wants you to do.    Scour the want ads, there is no one looking to fill this position.  It is hard (understatement) to keep from getting lured into judging how others do what they do, what they're wearing when they do it and how their kids behave.  However, once you back away from judging others, you can focus on what a terrific job you are doing on you, and let others live how they would like to live.

6. Be kind.  90% of the time it is the right decision. 

7.  Fly your Freak Flag (when you can).  We are all so unique.  Every person on this earth is an individual, and sometimes when you celebrate your individuality, you allow a space for others to feel comfortable to celebrate theirs.  DISCLAIMER:  Obviously, if you feel your individuality is celebrated best by nudity -for example- then don't celebrate it when you pick up your kids from school.  Also consider how your individuality works with your career, and maybe share your "special" in a place that seems the most appropriate.

8. If you're not having FUN, you're doing it wrong.
This has become my mantra.  I like to tell myself this when I'm in traffic, having a less than perfect day, or getting myself tangled up in things that really don't matter.  Life is short (though it can feel very long) and if you can keep your focus on enjoying what you're doing, or planning things that you will enjoy while you're doing something you really don't enjoy, then you'll probably get a lot more out of life than you would otherwise.

Happy Holidays!

Holiday Letter to Myself....

 

This year, before I begin to look like the crazed holiday mother and bitter Emily elf, 

I'm writing a list of reminders for myself during the holiday season....

During the holiday season, please try to do the following:

1. Enjoy time with your family.  This means not interrupting conversations to sweep up cheerios or fix a child's hair.  This means listening to the family members you love so much and what they have to say.  This means "taking it all in"and enjoying events while they are actually happening rather than after they have passed and you examine what could have been improved upon.

2. Try your best to not go crazy with gifts.
As a self proclaimed shopaholic and prideful consumer, this one is tough.  I love gifts.  I love giving gifts, and I really, truly love getting swept up in the whirlwind of Christmas spending.  Historically I have been the woman in the mall carrying 40 lbs of merchandise and shopping for more while wondering how I might fit all of my treasures in the car.  That's me.  And then, I am also the person who is overwhelmed by the suffocating volume of "stuff"and toys that my children have.  I have only two feet, however I have over 50 pairs of shoes.  Why?  This year, I need to reign it in to the best of my ability so that I can return to #1 on my list.  How can I enjoy time with my family and friends when I've filled up my day with purchasing goods that need to be wrapped, gifted, set up, thrown away and eventually disposed of? 

3. Remember how lucky you are and the wonderful things that have happened this year.
This one is pretty self explanatory, but since I'm not doing excessive shopping, I suppose I'll have to make up for that with excessive communication.  I have already fought off a case of the holiday blues, which I know comes to many out there. The holidays are a marker for me and they throw me into a kaleidoscope of old memories.  Some memories are joyful ones, however there are many that make me feel sad.  Looking back at holiday time through the parent in her mid-thirties lens, with the distance and delusion that time provides can allow me to be less objective and not as favorable when examining holidays of the past.  There is a time and place for re-examination, and I know that no matter how hard I fight it, I will feel a little sad around this time as I try to process how much has happened over the years.  My hope is that I'll be able to temper this grief with the reminder that this season is one of joy, that this year we can celebrate many wonderful victories, positive growth, and the wonderful events that the that the passage of time has also allowed us to enjoy.

4. Do what you can and save the rest for years to come.
The holidays present us with wonderful opportunities, but if every opportunity is not seized, the world will still turn and my children will not be permanently scarred.  If my autistic son can't tolerate the holiday brunch at the country club, that's OK.  If he can't handle going on a train to see Santa, that's OK too.  If we don't have the perfectly timed Christmas Eve celebration and one kid is in sweatpants while the other is wearing a flower girl dress rather than her "Christmas outfit".  That is OK too.  There will be other years.  The kids are getting older, and despite my wondering if it would ever occur, they are growing in their independence.  There will be years when they sit at the table, wear shoes, eat their meals and contribute to our conversations at holiday dinners.  So if I miss a holiday opportunity, or if one simply won't work for our family, it will be OK, we will try for it next year.

Cheers to you and your holiday season....I hope your days are filled with small moments of holiday magic and  that whatever you do you are surrounded by love.

Happy Holidays!