I was talking with a friend's husband recently, and he asked me what it was like parenting a child with autism. And I realized he really did want to know and that he truly had no idea. I tried my best to share with him some of our challenges in the most positive way possible, but of course, it has taken me a day or two to come up with a better answer that seem to fit - at least for now....
If you think of parenting as a marathon that every parent is in, it's like running that marathon too, just with a different terrain, barefoot, with a gorilla on your back. With people shouting advice, judgements, or instructions from within the race and also on the sidelines. You keep checking the map, and running down routes, only to find out
"NO GORILLAS ALLOWED"
or
"Your Gorilla has to be quarantined"
or whatever. And people yell, impassioned yells
"God only gives you what you can handle!!"
"You're blessed for your gorilla, shame shame shame on you for complaining about your bloody feed and aching back!"
And a favorite in our household : "What do you think you did wrong to loose your shoes and get a gorilla??" Add in the additional noise from your gorilla, who's uncomfortable, struggling from being stuck on your back, and other people in the race shout:
"KEEP THAT GORILLA AWAY FROM ME!!
He may be contagious! Or; "He is going to slow down my race time!".
I could go on, but you get the picture. We are all in a different "marathon", living different lives, that are constantly changing - we're enjoying wonderful, blessed moments that are rich in delirious love. Everyone is an individual, having an individual experience, and I would never suggest that my metaphor and subsequent experience is representative of a greater population.
But it is human nature to want for it to be. I want to be able to gain data from people, group them together, organize findings and come up with a solution. I want an easy answer. That sadly doesn't always seem to end up working with parenting though. So all I can share is that today, this is my better answer to "what it's like".
Enjoy the race!
