Sledgehammer

I thought I might just get a chance to break down a door today.  It was locked and blocking me from my next step and I thought, rather than work slowly, painfully, without any hope, maybe I’ll just get that sledgehammer and break the door down.  It will be expensive, it will cause a lot of damage, but I’ll get that immediate solution I’m yearning for and a freedom from being blocked.  Jamming my fist against the door, my arms, my legs, and rattling the foundation of the house I realized; this is exactly how I feel in my life.  I want the quick cure. My life is blocked by a door and it keeps stopping me from doing the things I want to, and I am tired of being locked out.  I keep trying and trying and reading and working and still coming up against this door that is stopping my son and it keeps getting worse as he gets older.  We make progress, true.  But there are always these locked doors with no relief in sight.  I want my child to recover.  And if I could do a quick fix, make a change that would elicit results to get us to recovery;  I would do that and more without hesitation.  

I didn’t break down the door.  I desperately wanted to, wanted to see if I could take my temper that far out and demolish what was blocking me.  Instead, I used a grocery store coupon card.  Thanks to the advice of my husband, I worked it back and forth.  Saw no hope of making progress, just jammed it into a space and made it fit.  Kept pushing, shoving, and muscling slowly until the card popped the door open at last.  The lesson?  Get new door hardware in the house.    

Personal Trends for 2013 - a discussion

5 Personal Trends for 2013

Last week I had the opportunity to read "10 Crucial Consumer Trends for 2013"from Trendwatching.com.  If you're dying to know what trends they're predicting for the year ahead check out the link to the article at the bottom of this blog post.


The article got me thinking about what could be written about MY trends for 2013.  What would a biographer, a gossip magazine or even a video countdown record about YOU and YOUR trends for the year ahead?  What will your trends or habits be; and what changes would an outside observer predict for you?  Over the past 10 years I've had trends spike, come out strong and drop off completely,  or even begin with a creeping and grow into a mass that suffocated everything else. Some trends were grossly influential but brief; bottle feeding, newborn sleeping strategies, teething strategies.  And some trends have been evolving but permanent in their presence; mothering styles, marriage styles.

Here are a few examples of personal trends for the year ahead:

1. Diaper bag- OUT Adult purse- IN!!!  My kids are finally potty trained.  Now that they are also in school most days and mostly able to feed themselves wherever we go, I FINALLY am lacking a legitimate need for the diaper bag.  I have taken jaunts around town with kids with only a box of raisins as my support for them.  Liberating is a grossly ineffective term to describe how freeing this feeling is. 

2. Lip gloss- OUT  Lip stain- IN!
With kids in school, the opportunity to shower, dry my hair AND do my makeup have moved from The "highly unlikely"category of events (meaning that these actions typically occurred on vacation or date night) into the "highly likely"category of events.  I am clean - usually - and have an opportunity to enjoy the wonders of makeup.  I'm a big fan of the lip stain, and as I am still getting associated with the act of dressing myself, I also associating myself with the practice of reapplication.  A lip stain may be crumbling off your lips at 5pm, but I feel more confident with that look than without any evidence of lip love at all.  Hey, at least I tried right?

3.Magic Mommy Playstation- OUT, After-school Activity Circus- IN!
The days of coming up with ideas out of thin air, filling the long afternoon stretches with some inspired, educational, and entertaining idea to keep the kids engaged while counting the minutes until my husband would open the front door still occur, but they are the exception rather than the rule now.  Moments without structure, without somewhere to be or something to prepare for are evaporating from our filling family calendar, giving me time to really think more about lip stains. 

4. Saying whatever you want in front of your kids - OUT.  Utilizing your 4 year old to police your family - IN.
"Mommy, you can't start driving!  You DON'T have your seat belt on!!!!"
"Dad, we don't use the word HATE.  It's not a kind word"
Parenting has called me to try and become a better version of myself.  And in case I forget all the lofty goals I've set for my children, I have a 4 year old to remind me what is and what is not allowed in our home.  We can no longer swear or gossip in safety.  I have policed our family into a corner, and hopefully it will help get me closer to being the person I want my kids to model.   We are teaching our daughter to spell, so soon spelling the words we shouldn't be using anyhow is going to be out too.  Parenting, the ultimate lesson in accountability.  OY!!!

5. Being overly reactive to your spouse - OUT.  Choosing your battles and communicating clearly - IN.  
I've been working on this for a long time.  I'll be working on this for a long time.  I'll likely never master this one, but I hope to improve as time wears on.  I'm better at responding to challenges with my spouse than I have been in the past.  And I really think we are getting to the place where he understands that everything I say and do is right, even if it is wrong when I do it and then I admit it, I'm still right in some double-negative, crazy lady, ultra awesome wife type of way.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Everything I just wrote after the third sentence in this paragraph was a ruse to see if my spouse actually read this.

So here are some initial musings on what I am hoping to trend towards this year....what are some of your trends?  Your realities?  Your aspirations?  What choices are you going to make to trend towards something you want and away from what you don't want?  What is your life giving you that is causing a trend to emerge or diminish? I hope you find something great in every day this year has for you.  As promised, here is the link to the article that started this line of thinking......

http://www.trendwatching.com/trends/10trends2013/

Trying something NEW for the new year....

I am probably at my strongest poetically up on a microphone when no one is really listening closely.  However, I thought I'd try something new.. a little poem for the New Year.   While it is true that in recent years I've grown to shy away from change, my love of traditions eclipses this habit and allows me to really enjoy the New Year holiday.  The idea that next year at this time, things will be different, I will have grown and life will have changed excites me today.   Let me know what you think of the poem below......

Beginning

Deep breathing, new believing, digging in or leaving, chest heaving

Finding hope, finding love, shaking off, growing up

Starting over, re-beginning, holding treasures from your winning

Letting it go but reining it in, opening slow, touching the skin

Of the new beginning, of the new day, of this moment when I hear you say:

“Good morning!” 

It’s a new world, the race is on, the lights are green, become a swan

Hoping for more, hoping for most. Living in present, leaving the ghost

Of old days, of old hands, of things said, of broken plans

It is a new beginning.

There is fear, there are guts, there is bravery here with us

A fresh new old me and new old you trying to be who we said we would be to

One another and all of the other one another’s we made promises for

Feet on the floor, open the door.  It is January with a zero score,

It is time for a new beginning.