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I am not an expert, this advice is intended to be helpful and humorous, with flashes of wit. Please know this is a futile attempt at getting the world to do things the way I see fit.

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Monday, March 7, 2011

First Date Night

I recently had a friend ask me for good date night converstaion topics, and I didn't get a chance to respond to her in time. So, rather than waste all of the ideas I came up with, I thought I'd post a few here. In my early 20's I was a bit of a date-a-holic. I really enjoyed the dating process. I know that makes me a bit of a freak, but I think it has to do with the fact that I like learning about people, and I like adventure. A first date is nothing if not an adventure into someones life. Certainly, there were some BAD dates, but I usually found I was able to keep the conversation moving, even if it was to continue discussing my date's obsession with his mother. WEIRD!!!

Whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with someone I don't know that well, and sometimes when I'm getting ready for a date night with my husband, I find myself thinking of good conversation topics. A good conversation topic for a first date is usually one that allows you to find out more about the person you are with. It should strike the balance between being original and unexpected while still being somewhat broad and easy to discuss. The topic should bring up feelings that are light and enjoyable, rather than depressing and jarring. Always consider your audience when you bring up a new topic. Before asking a question, try to conceive of your date's possible answers, if there is a chance that the answers could bring up some bad feelings, you might want to consider a different topic. Here are a few questions and topics I've discussed in the past that I found were pretty good during the first date.....

  • When was the last time you laughed really hard?
  • Where is your favorite place?
  • What clebrity would you like to be for a day?
  • What do you like about yourself? You don't actually have to come out and ask this one directly, if you're listening to someone, they'll likely indicate something they like about themselves or a quality that they have, and you can use this as a jumping off point for conversation.
  • How did you end up in your current line of work - if the person is between jobs or HATES their job this is obviously not a good question. This is a really good one if the date conversation is not going well since it will take up a LOT of time and offer you the opportunity to ask a lot of follow up questions. People enjoy talking about themselves and this allows you to keep the focus of the conversation on your date. So that you don't have to sit in silence and you can think about what you want to do next. If the conversation is going well and you're looking to get the focus off you, this is a good one too. It will also give you a brief recent history of the person you're with.
  • And finally, there is my new favorite question..... Which rap song best describes you?
Happy dating!