Welcome!

I am not an expert, this advice is intended to be helpful and humorous, with flashes of wit. Please know this is a futile attempt at getting the world to do things the way I see fit.

If you need advice on any topic, I'm happy to help you by either giving my own recommendations, or seeking out recommendations from others, then claiming them as my own. If you have no sense of humor, please do not read this blog.

How it works...please post a question in the comments section of the blog (or send me an email if you'd like more anonymity). I'll post it with my advice. Take the advice, leave the advice, but don't let me tell you
"I told you so!"

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I just want to crawl into a hole....

em·bar·rass

verb (used with object) 1. to cause confusion and shame to; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert;


Oh yes, it was all of those things. I don't typically do really embarrassing stuff, or, I should say, I don't typically get overly embarrassed - there is a chance others observe my behavior and feel I should be embarrassed, but I am not. But this week, this very week, I did something that was so so sooooooooo embarrassing. It got me thinking about all of the strategies I have implemented in the past to ease myself out of uncomfortable, embarrassing situations. Most of these techniques were used honed during my middle school and high school years, but I feel like they still apply today.

The first and most effective way to diffuse an embarrassing situation is to laugh at yourself. I know others think that you should simply "not be embarrassed" which works in some cases, but if you truly are red-in-the-face, I want to crawl in a hole embarrassed, I think this strategy is pretty pathetic. So, in cases of extreme embarrassment, I have found that saying to whomever is around;

"Oh, I am so embarrassed."

Is actually the most effective response. At least now you've said what is on your mind and hopefully caused your audience to have a kernel of sympathy for you.

You can always try the "laugh it off" strategy. This works in certain cases quite well, and can help to bring a little lightness to a situation. It can also help you to model the behavior you want from those around you. If you don't think the event was that big of a deal/ devastating/ humiliating / etc. it stands to reason that your audience will respond in kind.

And then, there is the "pretend it never happened" strategy. This strategy probably works best when your audience is a child under the age of 2 or a group of complete strangers you will likely never see again. However, when used in any other situations, this strategy will only keep others from talking about the event to you, it will probably not keep them from thinking about it every time they see you and wondering why you are unable to admit what happened. This may be a good short term strategy, or a good response to a minor event, but probably won't work in the long term, and could make the embarrassing happening more important than it needs to be.

Do you have any strategies for countering the desire to crawl into a hole? I hope you do, and I hope that you use them with grace. In the mean time, I'll try to get back to being a person who doesn't embarrass herself all the time!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Just Breathe

It kind of cracks me up that the thing that can help you most to focus your mind, become more flexible, meditate, calm yourself, clear your mind, and shift perspective is something that you do pretty much involuntarily. What does that mean?

Breathing, focusing on your breath, "breathing into it", and taking "cleansing breaths" have been effective tools for me over the past few years.

Child screaming at operatic levels in supermarket? Deep breath.

Mindless chatter, negative thoughts, and football game blaring in the background? Breathe.

Poop on the carpet? Deep breath (s).

Matchbox car thrown at your head? Breathe.

Trying to enjoy the minute of silence before you need to dive back into the chaos of dropping off, picking up, errands, work, friends, neighbors, teachers and family? Just breathe.

Its free, its good for you, and it can offer a little reprieve or even a reverie in your day.

Now, back to the fray....