I hated P.E. when I was younger. I absolutely DREADED running. Even on days where I was feeling particularly spunky, I always found myself wanting to quit running and start walking remarkably soon after I had started. Throughout my teens and college years I tried to run. I joined gym memberships, watched television while on the treadmill, went to the gym with friends, even boyfriends. To date, I think my personal best has been 20 minutes of running time. I can walk for hours, but running has always required a level of perseverance I can't seem to muster.
It occurred to me this week that life in your 30's seems to require a lot of perseverance. Marriage, children, work, keeping your life moving in the direction you want it to go, all requires perseverance. I'm ashamed to admit that historically I strongly prefer activities in which I am already proficient. I have been able to avoid the need for sustained perseverance for most of my life. I pride myself on finding the quickest and easiest route to complete a task, making me useful for efficiency tips but not very strong in the perseverance department. In my 20's I managed to maintain a fun lifestyle without needing a ton of perseverance. Yes, there were days where I didn't want to do something and I still did it, but there weren't extended periods of perseverance. In our early working years the absence of a set plan in life can allow us to look at things as temporary rather than a "long haul".
In your 30's you begin to root into your life. You might buy a home, get married, build a family, build a community, or establish yourself in your career. Once you start on this path, the need for perseverance kicks into overdrive. You make choices to get yourself to a place and once you get there, sometimes the weather sucks. Or it doesn't always look like you thought it would. Some days it is a lot less fantastic than you had hoped even though it is still everything you want. What to do then? Perseverance. I'm still working on being able to run further for longer, working on pushing through the discomfort to keep running. Hopefully in a few years I'll have learned to keep running, and instead of noticing the physical drain, I'll enjoy more of the scenery and feel pride in how far I can go.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Personal Anthem
I was recently lucky enough to be sitting at dinner with some dear friends when we got to a rare break in conversation. After a moment, I asked the girls; "What is your personal anthem?". I was SHOCKED! I looked around at the faces I've known for so long and saw an audience of blank and quizzical faces. Apparently not everyone has put as much time and attention into deciding their personal anthem as yours truly.
The personal anthem comes into play at a variety of times. When you're walking down the street, when you're having a bad day, when you're waiting for a job interview, or when you win the lottery. At moments of triumph and moments of trial, the personal anthem can be a great thing to have playing in your head. When practicing walking down the runway in the privacy of your own home, doing the dishes or sweeping the floor, it's nice to have a song that you sing to yourself.
I hope you all take a moment to think of your personal anthem today. Think of the song that you feel best describes YOU, where you are in your life, what you value, what you aspire to be, or even what simply makes you laugh.
Obviously, I have a personal anthem. I've had a few over the years, but at this moment in time, my personal anthem is "Aint Nothing Going to Hold Me Down" by Men at Work. Which is TOTALLY random, but I find it suits me and my life at this time. I hope you all have a chance to ponder your anthems over the weekend, and ask a friend what theirs might be, you might just learn something fun!
The personal anthem comes into play at a variety of times. When you're walking down the street, when you're having a bad day, when you're waiting for a job interview, or when you win the lottery. At moments of triumph and moments of trial, the personal anthem can be a great thing to have playing in your head. When practicing walking down the runway in the privacy of your own home, doing the dishes or sweeping the floor, it's nice to have a song that you sing to yourself.
I hope you all take a moment to think of your personal anthem today. Think of the song that you feel best describes YOU, where you are in your life, what you value, what you aspire to be, or even what simply makes you laugh.
Obviously, I have a personal anthem. I've had a few over the years, but at this moment in time, my personal anthem is "Aint Nothing Going to Hold Me Down" by Men at Work. Which is TOTALLY random, but I find it suits me and my life at this time. I hope you all have a chance to ponder your anthems over the weekend, and ask a friend what theirs might be, you might just learn something fun!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
It's Not Fair
The message at church the other week highlighted the fact that life is UNFAIR. It was a message I absolutely needed to hear. In times of trial I've often been told; "Take heart, God only gives us what he knows we can handle." That statement makes me crazy. It makes me feel like if I were less capable, bad things wouldn't happen to me. Rather than giving hope and encouragement, I begin to feel angry and resentful.
The saying our pastor included in his message, and the one I prefer is:
I've said it before, I'm a control freak. Being a mother of two has only increased my yearning for control over my life.
Cheerios MUST be off the floor!
MUST pack nutritious lunch!
MUST bake treats for pre-school class!
Children MUST be polite and well mannered, stimulated but not overly, recipients of all that they need with ALL needs anticipated.
MUST have children clean and well dressed for any type of weather! MUST be prepared for ANYTHING at ANYTIME!
There is NO room for ERROR - EVER!!!!
Being a wife and a mother of two has only revealed my inability to control much of anything! But MY emotions, MY reactions, MY words - THAT - I should be able to control. My behavior, my attitude, my choices, okay - I can control those too. I can plan, I can provide healthy choices, I can introduce positive concepts, I can model positive and healthy behaviors, I can be conscientious of all that I do. But I can't control sickness, disability, the residential real estate market, the behavior of my children, my family, my friends, my neighbor, other people's children, the school district, ALL are out of my control.
I feel relieved. I can do SOMETHING! I can control my own behavior! I can't get the school district to do what I want them to do. I can't take away illness, but I can stay calm, supportive and even faithful when it falls on a loved one. I can't fix tragedies; earth shattering or minor, but I can keep from flying into a tailspin when they occur. Hallelujah! No need to obsess over things that are completely beyond my control! It doesn't have any affect!
Hmm....maybe now my face won't look so darn scrunchy, and I can do something more positive with my time. Maybe a hug for my husband and snuggles for the kids.
The saying our pastor included in his message, and the one I prefer is:
"You cannot control the circumstances, but you can control how you react to them."
I've said it before, I'm a control freak. Being a mother of two has only increased my yearning for control over my life.
Cheerios MUST be off the floor!
MUST pack nutritious lunch!
MUST bake treats for pre-school class!
Children MUST be polite and well mannered, stimulated but not overly, recipients of all that they need with ALL needs anticipated.
MUST have children clean and well dressed for any type of weather! MUST be prepared for ANYTHING at ANYTIME!
There is NO room for ERROR - EVER!!!!
Being a wife and a mother of two has only revealed my inability to control much of anything! But MY emotions, MY reactions, MY words - THAT - I should be able to control. My behavior, my attitude, my choices, okay - I can control those too. I can plan, I can provide healthy choices, I can introduce positive concepts, I can model positive and healthy behaviors, I can be conscientious of all that I do. But I can't control sickness, disability, the residential real estate market, the behavior of my children, my family, my friends, my neighbor, other people's children, the school district, ALL are out of my control.
I feel relieved. I can do SOMETHING! I can control my own behavior! I can't get the school district to do what I want them to do. I can't take away illness, but I can stay calm, supportive and even faithful when it falls on a loved one. I can't fix tragedies; earth shattering or minor, but I can keep from flying into a tailspin when they occur. Hallelujah! No need to obsess over things that are completely beyond my control! It doesn't have any affect!
Hmm....maybe now my face won't look so darn scrunchy, and I can do something more positive with my time. Maybe a hug for my husband and snuggles for the kids.
The P Word
"If he pees, just come and get me." Another phrase added to the list of "Things I Never Thought I'd Say"
I know, I hate to add to the litany of rants that have been written about potty training BUT, I just have to. Potty training has kind of taken over my life. I like to think of it as one of motherhood's "Dirty Little Secrets".
My pediatrician - a man with TONS of education, but who has no actual children of his own - advised me on potty training before I was ready. At the 18 month checkup for my child, he instructed me to start potty training. He said I should start "introducing" my child to the potty. Insert humorous visuals of a toddler shaking hands with a toilet here. I was told to take a dirty diaper off of my child, deposit its contents into the toilet, and start to get my child accustomed to the process. GROSS. I seriously thought he was joking. He wasn't.
So, rather than take the well meaning doctor's advice, I WAITED. I'm now being dragged into potty training well after I should have started doing it, with many additional experts involved in the process. Whoops! Guess my "common sense" approach to potty training is catching up with me now. With much of parenting, I just think you HAVE to laugh. I now have two toddlers who want or need to be potty trained so I spend a LOT of time in the vicinity of the toilet. I am told that in 10 years they will dress themselves and use the bathroom on their own, I just have such a difficult time trying to know that in my heart.
Though I do feel most times that potty training is the bane of my existence, I also recognize it as an opportunity for face time with the kids. Whether they like it or not, we're spending a LOT of time one on one throughout the day together. And, my bathroom is very well organized now, so, there's that.
Wish me luck, I'm off to the potty.
I know, I hate to add to the litany of rants that have been written about potty training BUT, I just have to. Potty training has kind of taken over my life. I like to think of it as one of motherhood's "Dirty Little Secrets".
My pediatrician - a man with TONS of education, but who has no actual children of his own - advised me on potty training before I was ready. At the 18 month checkup for my child, he instructed me to start potty training. He said I should start "introducing" my child to the potty. Insert humorous visuals of a toddler shaking hands with a toilet here. I was told to take a dirty diaper off of my child, deposit its contents into the toilet, and start to get my child accustomed to the process. GROSS. I seriously thought he was joking. He wasn't.
So, rather than take the well meaning doctor's advice, I WAITED. I'm now being dragged into potty training well after I should have started doing it, with many additional experts involved in the process. Whoops! Guess my "common sense" approach to potty training is catching up with me now. With much of parenting, I just think you HAVE to laugh. I now have two toddlers who want or need to be potty trained so I spend a LOT of time in the vicinity of the toilet. I am told that in 10 years they will dress themselves and use the bathroom on their own, I just have such a difficult time trying to know that in my heart.
Though I do feel most times that potty training is the bane of my existence, I also recognize it as an opportunity for face time with the kids. Whether they like it or not, we're spending a LOT of time one on one throughout the day together. And, my bathroom is very well organized now, so, there's that.
Wish me luck, I'm off to the potty.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Do you believe in magic?
Sorry, I know I just got that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I had to do it though. It was just too appropriate. At church on Sunday, the speaker referred to the "magical period" in a relationship when you first fall in love. It got me thinking a little about magic. The world is certainly a wondrous place. Whenever I have traveled, I relish the opportunity to see new parts of the world, and to see surroundings from a curious perspective. I often find myself filled with wonder at the beauty of new places. I'll gaze out on a sea reflecting purples, pinks, oranges and blues from a sunset and be hypnotized by the sheer magic of the scenery.
I'm a parent of two small children, and I started to wonder; if in my efforts to do everything possible to be the best parent I can be, I might be robbing them (and myself) of the opportunity to recognize magical moments in my day to day life. If every action I make is contemplated and controlled, then how can I free myself up to recognize the colors of the world around me? The feeling of a breeze that cools and refreshes on a stifling day can go unnoticed. The recognition that the little people I'm trying to parent were once much smaller and that they have grown SO much in my presence.
I started looking for magic around me, and I found it. I found it in a lot of places. I realized that my magic sensor is closely tied to my imagination, and that the more I use the imagination, the better it works. There are many un-magical things in my day, but in being ready for the moments of pure whimsy, I seem to be creating a space for more of them.
The pediatrician's office isn't necessarily a place where you think you're in for a "magical" time. But while we were waiting for the doctor (for 40 minutes) there was a moment where I saw my son put a toy bear on a little truck and push them around together. He was playing with them functionally, a two-step, functional play moment. For me, it was a MAJOR milestone of how far we've come. We were working on trying to get him to do that like CRAZY last year. And there it was, happening right before my eyes. Hooray!!! Success! I've seen him do things like this before, I've seen him get close to achieving this type of goal, but the manner in which he did it, was spellbinding. It was Magical.
I hope this brief reminder compels you to open yourself up to magic if your life doesn't have much in it right now. If you do have a healthy amount of magic in your day, I challenge you to try and share it with others. The simple act of pointing out something magical, or perhaps just your perspective that shows something in that light, can be a huge gift to the person you share it with.
I'm a parent of two small children, and I started to wonder; if in my efforts to do everything possible to be the best parent I can be, I might be robbing them (and myself) of the opportunity to recognize magical moments in my day to day life. If every action I make is contemplated and controlled, then how can I free myself up to recognize the colors of the world around me? The feeling of a breeze that cools and refreshes on a stifling day can go unnoticed. The recognition that the little people I'm trying to parent were once much smaller and that they have grown SO much in my presence.
I started looking for magic around me, and I found it. I found it in a lot of places. I realized that my magic sensor is closely tied to my imagination, and that the more I use the imagination, the better it works. There are many un-magical things in my day, but in being ready for the moments of pure whimsy, I seem to be creating a space for more of them.
The pediatrician's office isn't necessarily a place where you think you're in for a "magical" time. But while we were waiting for the doctor (for 40 minutes) there was a moment where I saw my son put a toy bear on a little truck and push them around together. He was playing with them functionally, a two-step, functional play moment. For me, it was a MAJOR milestone of how far we've come. We were working on trying to get him to do that like CRAZY last year. And there it was, happening right before my eyes. Hooray!!! Success! I've seen him do things like this before, I've seen him get close to achieving this type of goal, but the manner in which he did it, was spellbinding. It was Magical.
I hope this brief reminder compels you to open yourself up to magic if your life doesn't have much in it right now. If you do have a healthy amount of magic in your day, I challenge you to try and share it with others. The simple act of pointing out something magical, or perhaps just your perspective that shows something in that light, can be a huge gift to the person you share it with.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I'll Think of a Reason.....Later
Procrastination. I can proudly say I can procrastinate at an expert level. I was scientific about my procrastination in college, and am artful in procrastination when I have the option to be. You might think that when you have two toddlers, it would be difficult to procrastinate because they need everything RIGHT NOW. But don't be fooled, just because their needs are screaming at you does not mean that the other things you need to do (clean the kitchen, write a thank you note, loose weight) are at any level of urgency. I have stacks upon stacks of photos waiting to be filed away in baby books. I have dust collecting in places where I think the mites have homestead rights. That being said, I actually give GREAT advice on how to start something you have been meaning to start doing for the past decade.
FIRST: Start small. Even if this means putting a date on your calendar when you will start doing whatever it is you haven't been doing. Even if this means doing 10 sit ups to start your workout routine. Even if this means reading that dust covered book for 5 minutes, that is 5 minutes more than NOTHING, and you'll be 5 minutes, 10 sit ups, one calendar date closer to your goal.
NEXT: Make a plan using easy and attainable goals. You may set your intention to exercise once a week, if you do it twice one week, imagine how incredible you'll feel! If you are able to reach your goals, instead of feeling dread towards whatever you've been putting off, you may actually recognize said goal as an opportunity for feeling good about yourself - IMAGINE THAT.
FINALLY: Come up with a prize, a reward, for completing your task. Maybe give yourself small rewards along the way to keep your head in the game. Figure out what will keep you motivated and go with it.
I've had the good fortune of being in the presence of people who have helped me to stay focused, who have motivated me to complete tasks I've set out to do. And invariably, I feel terrific when I finish something, certainly far better than I do when I'm procrastinating.
FIRST: Start small. Even if this means putting a date on your calendar when you will start doing whatever it is you haven't been doing. Even if this means doing 10 sit ups to start your workout routine. Even if this means reading that dust covered book for 5 minutes, that is 5 minutes more than NOTHING, and you'll be 5 minutes, 10 sit ups, one calendar date closer to your goal.
NEXT: Make a plan using easy and attainable goals. You may set your intention to exercise once a week, if you do it twice one week, imagine how incredible you'll feel! If you are able to reach your goals, instead of feeling dread towards whatever you've been putting off, you may actually recognize said goal as an opportunity for feeling good about yourself - IMAGINE THAT.
FINALLY: Come up with a prize, a reward, for completing your task. Maybe give yourself small rewards along the way to keep your head in the game. Figure out what will keep you motivated and go with it.
I've had the good fortune of being in the presence of people who have helped me to stay focused, who have motivated me to complete tasks I've set out to do. And invariably, I feel terrific when I finish something, certainly far better than I do when I'm procrastinating.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Happy Cry
Today was the first day of school for one of my children. It was the first day of school for a lot of parents in the area, and I'm wonder if we were all feeling the same thing this morning. As I dropped off my child and left him in the care of his teacher, I felt this overwhelming crash of emotion smashing over me like a huge wave. I was being pushed and pulled in the currents of so many conflicting thoughts and feelings, and I was totally and completely stirred.
I was so happy he wasn't crying, I was excited for him to experience a new school, I was terrified, and I was nervous! What if he feels lonely? What if he's confused and thinks I've just left him behind? And then, of course, I was thrilled! This will be so great for him! He'll be stimulated, he'll be LEARNING! He'll be surrounded by kids his own age! He'll get to grow, and experience new things! After a minute of this manic thinking-feeling-tumbling passed, I had surrendered to the oddest of experiences; the happy cry. I am a pretty notorious happy crier. Truthfully, my crying is a little out of control. After seeing it more than 10 times, I can guarantee I'll still cry at least once while watching the movie "Sex in the City" (which is not even a sad movie).
The thing about the happy cry that is so confusing is that you are feeling so many things at once, and all of those sentiments seem to burst from you in a flash of WOW! I'm crazy! I'm happy, sad, scared, and about 10 other things - all at the same time! BLAH! BLEEK! BOO! It is not rational, it makes little sense, it's totally overpowering, and then, it's over.
I hope that those of you who had a happy cry today embraced it. After all, when you're hit with the happy cry wave, it's hard to dodge.
I was so happy he wasn't crying, I was excited for him to experience a new school, I was terrified, and I was nervous! What if he feels lonely? What if he's confused and thinks I've just left him behind? And then, of course, I was thrilled! This will be so great for him! He'll be stimulated, he'll be LEARNING! He'll be surrounded by kids his own age! He'll get to grow, and experience new things! After a minute of this manic thinking-feeling-tumbling passed, I had surrendered to the oddest of experiences; the happy cry. I am a pretty notorious happy crier. Truthfully, my crying is a little out of control. After seeing it more than 10 times, I can guarantee I'll still cry at least once while watching the movie "Sex in the City" (which is not even a sad movie).
The thing about the happy cry that is so confusing is that you are feeling so many things at once, and all of those sentiments seem to burst from you in a flash of WOW! I'm crazy! I'm happy, sad, scared, and about 10 other things - all at the same time! BLAH! BLEEK! BOO! It is not rational, it makes little sense, it's totally overpowering, and then, it's over.
I hope that those of you who had a happy cry today embraced it. After all, when you're hit with the happy cry wave, it's hard to dodge.
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