Job Hunt

I have recently updated my resume and have been searching for work. The job market is definitely a tough one, and things are very different than they were when I was last employed. For example, the job I used to have has become somewhat obsolete, and though my skills are still certainly valuable, convincing a future employer that I am EXACTLY what they are looking for has proven to be a bit tough.

So I started thinking, what if I were to list all of the skills I have learned over the past few years of being a stay-at-home mom? What would that look like??

• Ability to set up and take apart advanced toy models including exersaucer, jumperoo, and various battery operated toys.
• Advanced level of comprehending non-verbal, screaming children, delivering sandwich, while driving, applying mascara and singing various children's songs.
• Creative ability to turn any daunting tasks into a song. Popular songs include: "Eat your peas" and "Potty Time".
  
• Strong interpersonal skills with terrorist toddlers in home and throughout the community. Ability to negotiate deal terms and avoid crisis on a 24 hour schedule.
• Extremely functional without sleep, food, or any personal maintenance. Ability to dress children, self, husband, and make 3 course meal for unexpected visitors under aforementioned conditions.
• Loving, upbeat attitude in the face of crisis, tremendous sales skills and creativity.
• Experience in advanced, multi-level operations. Able to balance the schedule of naps, meals, school, exercise, play dates, sports, therapies, holidays, and family time.
• Part time chef experience, working to create healthful meals with restrictive ingredients and unwilling participants.
• Advanced skill level in the following areas: sleeping strategies, containment of illness, potty training strategies, Applied Behavioral Analysis.
• Expert level room mom.
• Ability to carry infant car seat, infant, full load of groceries, diaper bag, purse, stroller and conduct a somewhat lucid conversation on a mobile phone.
  
• Extensive studies conducted on: local preschools, therapy clinics, autism resources, baby strollers, bottle types, pacifiers, kid-friendly restaurants, after-school programs, toddler clothing, and baby blankets.
• Advanced mastery of train sets, hot wheels, Disney princesses, puppet shows, and dance parties.

What would your personal life resume look like? While I don't think listing my extensive knowledge of "Thomas the Tank Engine" will ever help me to obtain a great job, I can't help but think my sales skills have certainly been sharpened by spending time with my kids. And if you ever need a toy set up in record time, well, you know who to call.......