I find myself asking for a miracle, then correcting myself,
and rather, asking for another miracle.
I’ve been granted many already.
And while I wouldn’t say I’ve wasted them, there is doubtless room for
improvement on my part at receiving them.
Being born (I’d wager that was miracle one for me). And a myriad of others granted prior to the
time I turned 18. Olivia being healthy
and recovering from her surgery – another biggie I begged for.
Now I want another one, and am self-aware
enough to realize, I’d be lying if I said this would be my last miracle
request. I want Blake to be cured from
Autism. I want him to miraculously snap
into being a boy with a brain that works in the world at large. I want to have autism be over. For this part of my life to grow old, into a
distant memory of; “ Oh, remember those years…oh boy, they were
something.”. I would be completely
unprepared for this miracle to happen, and likely would be in utter disbelief
if it did occur. And looking around at
life today, I wonder if I may not get the miracle I’m looking for, but possibly
a number of others over time.
Maybe my miracle will be granted one eye-contact, one
appropriate phrase, one teeny-tiny, molecular step at a time. Or, maybe the miracle will not be in getting
what I’ve requested, and the life that follows will be the miracle. I don’t know, as there is no miracle hotline
and I don’t have a delorian to visit the future. So for now, I am sitting with my long list of
requests, but trying to keep my eyes open to see when they are granted. To not miss the miracles that are given every
day and meant to be relished and shared.
Like the pink clouds at sunset, or roaring laughter, or the small ones,
the just- for- you miracles – moments that squeeze your heart and give you
chills.
And then, there are many that would say; his autism IS your miracle. And "they" would be right. Because it has taken me to insane places, put me in the path of incredible people and truly changed my life so far. This experience has pulled my heart out of my chest, stretched it to the sky and thrown it down a rabbit hole and tied that heart right back together to put it in my chest for another day. So I get that I'm selfish, short sighted and overall a terrible person for the miracle request, but at least I'm being truthful.
When was your last miracle?
Which ones are at the top of your list?
Which ones are you grateful were not granted?
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