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I am not an expert, this advice is intended to be helpful and humorous, with flashes of wit. Please know this is a futile attempt at getting the world to do things the way I see fit.

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Friday, February 5, 2016

Can you be joyful and authentic?

 
source: MS Clip Art
 
NEW FORMAT (for now) 
Here you will find grab and go thoughts/ recommendations / advice crackers / puffs of ideas - this is for you if you are currently also watching TV and about to go ______(fill in the blank).
Quickie Advice Nuggets:

1. If you are trying SoulCycle for the first time - or any new workout routine - try to get a seat in the back.  Front row is for pros and wannabe pros and you may have the teacher scream in your face or squirt water at you if you find yourself seated in the front.   Just sayin'.

2. If you find yourself at a party and want to go home when people are getting fired up for shots; try to start the electric slide, then turn leadership over to someone else and then slide on out of the venue. Please try this and report back.  Photos = extra credit.

Main Topic (too obvious?)

In an attempt to give advice to myself - and also to just explore a question I've been unable to find a satisfactory answer to - I'd like to discuss the challenge of being joyful - regardless of circumstances - and also authentic.

CAVEAT - I'm not talking about being joyful in abuse, in war, in circumstances that prevent basic human needs to be met.  I AM referring to finding a way to be joyful for the sake of being joyful.  Not due to an awesome sale, spa day, tremendous windfall of cash or receipt of an Oscar.

I think that the exercise of trying to be joyful in all things, or at least to find things to be joyful about while living in crummy circumstances is a useful practice.  Some Yogis say: "if you are breathing, you should be joyful".  This level of optimism - of stubborn joy finding - can be helpful, even healing, when in challenging times, and even in times absent of challenges.
 So, if you agree to participate in the practice of being joyful for the sake of being joyful, and you strengthen this practice, is there a danger in becoming in-authentic?

For instance, I don't really want to share with you the bummer details on the miniseries called "MY LIFE TODAY", because I'm try to focus on being joyful. BUT, if I don't share with you, just a bit about what is going on, how can we connect?  How can I be real?  And, am I eliminating the opportunity to be honest, vulnerable, and possibly educate someone or be educated by them on the topic?

Where is the balance of both?

Clearly I still don't know.  My vote is for erring on the side of joy, but also not being so dogmatically joyful that I become a clown.  Or a wafer version of a person.  And being joyful when possible but also broken and real, and gray colored too when the time for that me-version arises.  I'm still working on finding a direction, and wondering if the direction isn't just in one way, but in many.

As always, if you've figured it out, throw the rest of us a bone and  - LET US KNOW!!!

2 comments:

  1. Love this and love this question. I have a 3 year old(almost 4) nonverbal son with autism and I struggle with being real, but also not being a bummer to everyone else (esp myself). I find this balance easier with true friends who know what's going on and can see it in my eyes, but also know that the best thing for me when I struggle is to laugh. Laugh and eat burritos. Your blog was recommended to me by a friend. Enjoying it! Thanks!

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    1. Love that you're in the same boat and finding a delicious coping skill! Thanks for reading!!!

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