Joy Theif - a holiday wrap up and reminder for the new year

You know her.  She's like the Phantom in "Phantom of the Opera"

She lurks in the corners of your mouth, waiting to pop out in frenzied, holiday-riddled conversations.  She's the Joy Thief.  Waiting to suck the joy out of Christmas and all the things that go with it.  She compares what others are giving their children, what others are giving or receiving from their spouses, which holiday cards are nicer, who got their cards out first, whose cards are handwritten, and which cards have typos.  She measures teacher gifts against gifts for neighbors, and instead of investing in admiration for the talents of those around her, she guides you to see what isn't there.  Maybe she is the voice of my mother or my seventh-grade-self.  Maybe she's me just with more holiday caffeine and10,000 sugar cookies.Maybe she's the one who morphs my awesome brand of kooky, creative, unpredictable, type-A-ness into a sadistic devil tounged cranky pants.  Who she is or where she comes from isn't very important.  This year I decided; after one particularly fantastic holiday party with incredible women; that I really don't like the Joy Thief and that I needed to be intentional about locking her out of my mind (and mouth). 

This last holiday season, I tried to focus on praise and admiration for the incredible women, men and children in my life, rather than allowing my thoughts to focus on jealousy and feeling less than.  Rather than allowing the dialog of ''Ugh, how did s/he/it DO all of that?" I tried to celebrate those that did and praise them for it.  I'm lucky enough to have a life where I often encounter people doing inspiring and incredible things.  Why not focus on praise? 

Please note the use of the word "tried". 

 Of course there were moments of feeling overwhelmed with what I hadn't done, or comparing myself against others.  But I'm trying to be aware of what I don't want and at least that is a step in the right direction!   With autism, I have heard moms and speakers and writers re-iterate the importance of not comparing your special-needs child to other children.  They are constantly encouraging parents to focus on the milestones you hit, on the things you can achieve, to focus on what is, rather than seeing all that isn't.  One mom told me: "Don't let anyone steal your joy." 

The good times are ours and are meant to be celebrated.  

 I suppose that realization grew on me, and crept into this other corner of my life, the one where I'm simply a woman trying to figure out how to be the best person I can be, and realized that this advice applied in my mom/friend/wife/sister/daughter life too.  I hope I'm able to continue with locking out the Joy Thief.  Will you help me out by being my alarm system???