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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Rambling on Sandcastles and Golden Tickets


On Monday, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I received word that a schedule was changing and that there was nothing I could do about it and the change negatively affects our son.

On Tuesday, I woke up, and realized I was being a total baby, bratty, emotional, overly-obsessive mom the day before, and had the opportunity to see this…..
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While checking out the remains of the local sandcastle contest.  I’m just going to say, it’s pretty cool (and a little crazy if you want to take a step back and get some perspective) to live in an area where they have sandcastle contests.  For adults.  For real.

                                             
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Flash to the meeting I went to on Tuesday morning, moments after the… incredible beach walk and sandcastle remnant appreciation, birds singing, flowers blooming, lovers loving observation…..and an hour later I’m in a puddle again.  Of my own tears, that literally, are bursting out of my eyes, and showering down from the dark cloud of pre-tornado winds that have formed above my head.  My head that knows better, my head that has a brain and a spirit that is desperately trying to remain aware (and hopefully grateful) of how fortunate I am. 

There are silly days, there are wonderful days, and sometimes there are dodge-it days where I try to run, jump or hide from the bummer news hurled in my direction.  I know in my heart that I can’t let a parenting expert with a well-meaning recommendation get me down.  I know I can’t expect everyone to understand what is going on in my life, and I know that sometimes I just need to relax and accept that what is happening is temporary.  But it’s still hard.  Even with all the blessings, it’s still hard for me to not be upset that the “game-changing” parenting technique won’t work for us, and that the technique is only actually something that can be used with kids that can speak.  It is devastating to me that the “miracle cure” actually just makes my son worse and our family even crazier.  I love giving advice, I love learning new things, and I enjoy getting new opinions.  But I don’t know how to reconcile these “I” things with how I can cope when they all roll in together and break my heart just a little more. 

Sometimes, it feels like I keep opening the chocolate bar and peeking at the golden ticket only to turn it in and realize that I’m not allowed into the chocolate factory.  I try and see the blessings in not being admitted.  Too much chocolate is bad for you, the weather is nice here outside the factory, and too many sweets could give me a stomachache, whatever.  I see the beauty and delicious joy of what is in front of me.  But I struggle with still looking for the ticket, and hoping it might help.  And I struggle with making sure I’m doing everything I can to get a ticket, or to improve our odds, or not miss the “thing” that will be what makes a difference. 

However, I know that too much time spent looking outside and looking for something else can end up cheating you of the experience right in front of you.  After all, Charlie really missed his family when he was at the chocolate factory.  And I can’t be two people.  And in the end, the ocean is really lovely so who cares anyhow?
 

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