I just want to crawl into a hole....

em·bar·rass

verb (used with object) 1. to cause confusion and shame to; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert;


Oh yes, it was all of those things. I don't typically do really embarrassing stuff, or, I should say, I don't typically get overly embarrassed - there is a chance others observe my behavior and feel I should be embarrassed, but I am not. But this week, this very week, I did something that was so so sooooooooo embarrassing. It got me thinking about all of the strategies I have implemented in the past to ease myself out of uncomfortable, embarrassing situations. Most of these techniques were used honed during my middle school and high school years, but I feel like they still apply today.

The first and most effective way to diffuse an embarrassing situation is to laugh at yourself. I know others think that you should simply "not be embarrassed" which works in some cases, but if you truly are red-in-the-face, I want to crawl in a hole embarrassed, I think this strategy is pretty pathetic. So, in cases of extreme embarrassment, I have found that saying to whomever is around;

"Oh, I am so embarrassed."

Is actually the most effective response. At least now you've said what is on your mind and hopefully caused your audience to have a kernel of sympathy for you.

You can always try the "laugh it off" strategy. This works in certain cases quite well, and can help to bring a little lightness to a situation. It can also help you to model the behavior you want from those around you. If you don't think the event was that big of a deal/ devastating/ humiliating / etc. it stands to reason that your audience will respond in kind.

And then, there is the "pretend it never happened" strategy. This strategy probably works best when your audience is a child under the age of 2 or a group of complete strangers you will likely never see again. However, when used in any other situations, this strategy will only keep others from talking about the event to you, it will probably not keep them from thinking about it every time they see you and wondering why you are unable to admit what happened. This may be a good short term strategy, or a good response to a minor event, but probably won't work in the long term, and could make the embarrassing happening more important than it needs to be.

Do you have any strategies for countering the desire to crawl into a hole? I hope you do, and I hope that you use them with grace. In the mean time, I'll try to get back to being a person who doesn't embarrass herself all the time!

The Happy Cry

Today was the first day of school for one of my children. It was the first day of school for a lot of parents in the area, and I'm wonder if we were all feeling the same thing this morning. As I dropped off my child and left him in the care of his teacher, I felt this overwhelming crash of emotion smashing over me like a huge wave. I was being pushed and pulled in the currents of so many conflicting thoughts and feelings, and I was totally and completely stirred.

I was so happy he wasn't crying, I was excited for him to experience a new school, I was terrified, and I was nervous! What if he feels lonely? What if he's confused and thinks I've just left him behind? And then, of course, I was thrilled! This will be so great for him! He'll be stimulated, he'll be LEARNING! He'll be surrounded by kids his own age! He'll get to grow, and experience new things! After a minute of this manic thinking-feeling-tumbling passed, I had surrendered to the oddest of experiences; the happy cry. I am a pretty notorious happy crier. Truthfully, my crying is a little out of control. After seeing it more than 10 times, I can guarantee I'll still cry at least once while watching the movie "Sex in the City" (which is not even a sad movie).

The thing about the happy cry that is so confusing is that you are feeling so many things at once, and all of those sentiments seem to burst from you in a flash of WOW! I'm crazy! I'm happy, sad, scared, and about 10 other things - all at the same time! BLAH! BLEEK! BOO! It is not rational, it makes little sense, it's totally overpowering, and then, it's over.

I hope that those of you who had a happy cry today embraced it. After all, when you're hit with the happy cry wave, it's hard to dodge.