Traveling with Tots

Q: Air travel for 18 hours with a toddler. I realize that your list of "things that are generally not a good idea" contains air travel for more than 20 hours with an infant...but what about a 20 month old for 18 hours? My husband will be in Korea for three months for work next spring, so my daughter and I are planning to go over to see him. I happen to think that the nightmare of travelling alone with a 20 month old to Korea and back is slightly outweighed by Chad and Ella not having to go three whole months without seeing one another. Since I know you did a big trip with your son, I would love to know what you would recommend and/or do differently? Can I tranquilize her? Do I get a seat on the opposite end of the plane and pretend I don't know the screaming child? Please help!

A: You are a daring mom living in the modern world. I did take my son from LA to South Africa when he was only 1 year old, and I still think I shaved a few years off of my life through the sleep deprivation, stress and exhaustion. Traveling with a 20 month old completely by yourself sounds scary, but certainly not impossible. Here are a few of my tips for travel with kids:

1. Recognize that you are going on an ADVENTURE not a VACATION. You're embarking on a great mommy and me adventure into the big wide world. Adventures are filled with the unexpected and challenges. Expect that.

2. Try to schedule the flight that makes the most sense with your child's sleep pattern. Try to make your child as comfortable as possible on the flight. Bring familiar books, blankets, dress her in pajamas if you think that will help.

3. Get the bulkhead seat if possible. The airline will tell you that this seat cannot be reserved, that you have to wait until you check in to get it, do whatever you can to speak to a manager, explain that you'll be traveling alone with a child, and get that seat! If you have it, you can set down a blanket on the floor and have a little play area for your crawler to explore. It won't be much space, but it is much better than nothing.

4. Get your child a seat. I know it's going to be really expensive, but 20 hours is nothing to mess around with. You could get away with not doing this, but I wouldn't chance it.

5. Bring some new books, activities (stickers, coloring books, games, toys, etc.) If you are okay with her watching TV, get a portable DVD player and some DVD's (or find out if the airline has these already and if their programming is appropriate for your child. Also, since you'll be visiting your husband, maybe bring a photo album with pictures of him or a book about where you're going.

One note about the carry on however....try to break up your carry on luggage into two small bags. When I traveled with Blake, I put everything into one of those extra-Extra-Large Lands End bags. I ended up having a heck of a time trying to get anything out because I had over packed so much junk!

6. Before your trip, read your child stories about traveling on an airplane, talk about what you'll be doing, how you'll sleep on the airplane, how you'll behave, etc.

7. Bring snacks and food and treats - whatever you think will be good bribes, bring them. If you don't use them, no problem, but better to have them just in case your child is a picky eater or the food on the flight is absolutely terrible.

8. Pack an extra shirt for yourself in your carry on- with kids especially - accidents happen.

9. Definitely try to get a direct flight. I had thought a lay over was a good idea when we went to South Africa, it WASN'T! Though the thought of being trapped on an airplane for 20 hours seems frightening, lay overs just add to the length of your trip. The sooner you get there, the better.

10. Make a plan with your husband to have him and your daughter spend some quality time together when you arrive so you can go promptly to the spa to relax!

I know there are thousands of other travel tips, but these seemed like a good start. This will undoubtedly be a very exciting trip for you and your child, and surely one you won't forget!! Take pictures and video to remind her of her trip to Korea, and have fun. When in doubt, a good laugh will go a long way.

Bored on the Road

Emily-I am traveling for work this week, and need some advice on keeping myself entertained after work/evening, but staying tip top for work the next day, which rolls around really early. I'll be in Texas through Friday July 2nd---my hotel gym is not so good, and it is raining outside.

Dear Sean,
Traveling is definitely a source of life’s great adventures. However, business traveling can often take you to a place where you would not necessarily go by choice. The beauty of this type of situation is that it offers you the opportunity to learn about a new place, and expose yourself to things that may be outside of your core interests. Wherever you are, you have to assume that there are new things there for you to explore that you don’t have at home. To find out what a new place is all about, ask around (your hotel concierge can be a good start) or try and find the city’s chamber of commerce website for insight into the culture of where you are. Another way to find the pulse of your destination could be to read the arts and entertainment section of the local paper. Maybe you have always wondered about whether or not you’d like contemporary art, and their local museum is featuring a noteworthy installment. Not into art? Try and find out a little history of where you are, and cruise by the local historical digs. You may not be into string on a daily basis, but if you’re in the city that is home to the biggest ball of string - THAT could certainly be worth a stop and the purchase of a commemorative magnet. Wherever you are, there is going to be a “best” of something. Try to find it. Maybe you can find the best view in the city, the best cup of coffee, or the best public art. If all else fails, try and use this time to do a few of the things you have been putting off. Perhaps you’ll be able to write that romantic ode to your wife you really wanted to compose….