I am Changing

Cue the following song as I talk about it...

Jennifer Hudson - I am Changing

It was my birthday last week, and I had the random opportunity to come across the following TED talk.  

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing

Essentially, the speaker Dan Gilbert shares that:

 

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished." Dan Gilbert shares recent research on a phenomenon he calls the "end of history illusion," where we somehow imagine that the person we are right now is the person we'll be for the rest of time."(Source: www.ted.com)

This truth is one that I find to be incredibly enlightening and fantastically well timed.  After the ten year anniversary of my 25th birthday, I absolutely know a mountain's worth more.  However, what I wasn't considering is the reality that what I thought was important, that who I perceived myself to be and what my preferences were ten years ago would change as much as they have.

I love Dr. Gilbert's use of the "end of history illusion" the idea that who we are today is who we always will be.  In reaching my mid thirties, I accept that I have changed, my life has changed and that my preferences have changed, but in seeing this talk, I am reminded that I must also acknowledge that this will continue to happen, throughout time, until I die.

Here is a quick for instance:  On vacation last week, I was thinking about what I might like to do on my 40th birthday (have I mentioned that I suffer from chronic over-planning syndrome?  It is a syndrome that is synonymous with crazy and controlling).  I started to daydream about destinations for the celebraiton, who would be there, and of course, what I might be wearing. I began a mental pencil sketch of possible themed activities for the bash.  Then, in  a moment of clarity, I realized that where and how I celebrated my 35th birthday would have been pretty un-imaginable for me as my 30 year old self.  5 years ago I had no interest in surfing, and what I liked to do to celebrate was similar, but different than it is now.  

As scary as it is to beleive that we are always changing, I think it is scarier to beleive that we are not.  And today, I take comfort in the thought that what I will want to do, what my interests are, the things I know how to do will have grown and changed into something different then what they are today.  I used to tell people:

"I am not where I thought I would be but I think I'm where I am supposed to be" 

when describing my life.  And as I said it, I'd say it with a big smile covering up an obvious presence of disappointment.  And now, I think I'm beginning to understand:  

" I'm here!  And I don't know where I might be going - but I'm going to love it when I get there."

So hooray for change.  Hooray for Jennifer Hudson.  And Hooray for fun Ted talks.