I thought I might just get a chance to break down a door
today. It was locked and blocking me
from my next step and I thought, rather than work slowly, painfully, without
any hope, maybe I’ll just get that sledgehammer and break the door down. It will be expensive, it will cause a lot of
damage, but I’ll get that immediate solution I’m yearning for and a freedom
from being blocked. Jamming my fist
against the door, my arms, my legs, and rattling the foundation of the house I
realized; this is exactly how I feel in my life. I want the quick cure. My life is blocked by
a door and it keeps stopping me from doing the things I want to, and I am tired
of being locked out. I keep trying and
trying and reading and working and still coming up against this door that is
stopping my son and it keeps getting worse as he gets older. We make progress, true. But there are always these locked doors with
no relief in sight. I want my child to
recover. And if I could do a quick fix,
make a change that would elicit results to get us to recovery; I would do that and more without
hesitation.
I didn’t break down the door. I desperately wanted to, wanted to see if I
could take my temper that far out and demolish what was blocking me. Instead, I used a grocery store coupon
card. Thanks to the advice of my
husband, I worked it back and forth. Saw
no hope of making progress, just jammed it into a space and made it fit. Kept pushing, shoving, and muscling slowly
until the card popped the door open at last.
The lesson? Get new door hardware
in the house.
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