Traveling with Tots

Q: Air travel for 18 hours with a toddler. I realize that your list of "things that are generally not a good idea" contains air travel for more than 20 hours with an infant...but what about a 20 month old for 18 hours? My husband will be in Korea for three months for work next spring, so my daughter and I are planning to go over to see him. I happen to think that the nightmare of travelling alone with a 20 month old to Korea and back is slightly outweighed by Chad and Ella not having to go three whole months without seeing one another. Since I know you did a big trip with your son, I would love to know what you would recommend and/or do differently? Can I tranquilize her? Do I get a seat on the opposite end of the plane and pretend I don't know the screaming child? Please help!

A: You are a daring mom living in the modern world. I did take my son from LA to South Africa when he was only 1 year old, and I still think I shaved a few years off of my life through the sleep deprivation, stress and exhaustion. Traveling with a 20 month old completely by yourself sounds scary, but certainly not impossible. Here are a few of my tips for travel with kids:

1. Recognize that you are going on an ADVENTURE not a VACATION. You're embarking on a great mommy and me adventure into the big wide world. Adventures are filled with the unexpected and challenges. Expect that.

2. Try to schedule the flight that makes the most sense with your child's sleep pattern. Try to make your child as comfortable as possible on the flight. Bring familiar books, blankets, dress her in pajamas if you think that will help.

3. Get the bulkhead seat if possible. The airline will tell you that this seat cannot be reserved, that you have to wait until you check in to get it, do whatever you can to speak to a manager, explain that you'll be traveling alone with a child, and get that seat! If you have it, you can set down a blanket on the floor and have a little play area for your crawler to explore. It won't be much space, but it is much better than nothing.

4. Get your child a seat. I know it's going to be really expensive, but 20 hours is nothing to mess around with. You could get away with not doing this, but I wouldn't chance it.

5. Bring some new books, activities (stickers, coloring books, games, toys, etc.) If you are okay with her watching TV, get a portable DVD player and some DVD's (or find out if the airline has these already and if their programming is appropriate for your child. Also, since you'll be visiting your husband, maybe bring a photo album with pictures of him or a book about where you're going.

One note about the carry on however....try to break up your carry on luggage into two small bags. When I traveled with Blake, I put everything into one of those extra-Extra-Large Lands End bags. I ended up having a heck of a time trying to get anything out because I had over packed so much junk!

6. Before your trip, read your child stories about traveling on an airplane, talk about what you'll be doing, how you'll sleep on the airplane, how you'll behave, etc.

7. Bring snacks and food and treats - whatever you think will be good bribes, bring them. If you don't use them, no problem, but better to have them just in case your child is a picky eater or the food on the flight is absolutely terrible.

8. Pack an extra shirt for yourself in your carry on- with kids especially - accidents happen.

9. Definitely try to get a direct flight. I had thought a lay over was a good idea when we went to South Africa, it WASN'T! Though the thought of being trapped on an airplane for 20 hours seems frightening, lay overs just add to the length of your trip. The sooner you get there, the better.

10. Make a plan with your husband to have him and your daughter spend some quality time together when you arrive so you can go promptly to the spa to relax!

I know there are thousands of other travel tips, but these seemed like a good start. This will undoubtedly be a very exciting trip for you and your child, and surely one you won't forget!! Take pictures and video to remind her of her trip to Korea, and have fun. When in doubt, a good laugh will go a long way.