Today was the first day of school for one of my children. It was the first day of school for a lot of parents in the area, and I'm wonder if we were all feeling the same thing this morning. As I dropped off my child and left him in the care of his teacher, I felt this overwhelming crash of emotion smashing over me like a huge wave. I was being pushed and pulled in the currents of so many conflicting thoughts and feelings, and I was totally and completely stirred.
I was so happy he wasn't crying, I was excited for him to experience a new school, I was terrified, and I was nervous! What if he feels lonely? What if he's confused and thinks I've just left him behind? And then, of course, I was thrilled! This will be so great for him! He'll be stimulated, he'll be LEARNING! He'll be surrounded by kids his own age! He'll get to grow, and experience new things! After a minute of this manic thinking-feeling-tumbling passed, I had surrendered to the oddest of experiences; the happy cry. I am a pretty notorious happy crier. Truthfully, my crying is a little out of control. After seeing it more than 10 times, I can guarantee I'll still cry at least once while watching the movie "Sex in the City" (which is not even a sad movie).
The thing about the happy cry that is so confusing is that you are feeling so many things at once, and all of those sentiments seem to burst from you in a flash of WOW! I'm crazy! I'm happy, sad, scared, and about 10 other things - all at the same time! BLAH! BLEEK! BOO! It is not rational, it makes little sense, it's totally overpowering, and then, it's over.
I hope that those of you who had a happy cry today embraced it. After all, when you're hit with the happy cry wave, it's hard to dodge.
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