Keeping in touch.....

Q. From Whitney....
"As a modern woman, I'm sure you have friends and family scattered all over this country, maybe even the world. How do you keep your friends close when there is such great distance between you?"

Dear Whitney,

This is a GREAT question - and I swear, I'm not just saying that because I appreciate you being gutsy enough to ask the first one! Our lives are busy, filled with thousands of things to do, people to call, and errands to run. Keeping in contact, maintaining a close relationship while you're not in close proximity can be difficult at best. In order to maintain a relationship, you have to communicate, but I recommend that you communicate with intention. Try doing the following things:

1. Figure out what relationships you're looking to improve

2.Take a realistic look at how much time you can dedicate to those relationships. Sometimes, we wish we were closer with people so we start up a daily or weekly conversation with them. Two or three weeks pass, and you realize; "Oh CRIPES! I haven't returned XYZ's call!!" Better to start out small and foster a realistic level of contact, than deal with the guilt of the new relationship falling apart.

3. Start communicating. Ask questions, and try to set up a time to see the person (or family :)! A few ideas for communication....

a. Send a card. You can send a postcard, a birthday card, a holiday card, or a thinking of you card. Though it's archaic, the handwritten word tends to imply a higher level of care. I keep a list of addresses in my planner so I can send a card from wherever I may be.

b. Set a reminder to get into contact. Set a time, on a reasonable interval, to make a phone call, email, or facebook message. While mass emails among friends are humorous, easy, and entertaining, it’s hard to remain close through them. When you make contact, be sure to include a point of discussion. Something to talk about so that the person will know what to anticipate when they call you back. I am terrible at this personally. I am the QUEEN of writing an email with 10 questions about a friend’s life. Best to stick with one or two so that your contact doesn’t get overwhelmed!

c. Set up a time to see one another face to face. Look at your schedule and your finances. Who can you see this year? Who can come to visit you? You may get a surprise and find out someone is traveling around your area! Great, now set up a time to meet for coffee, dinner, interpretive dancing, whatever. Even if you only see people once a year, that can be more than enough to keep a relationship alive. If you know you’re going to be somewhere, think of who you want to see, and then make a plan to see them. The further in advance you can do this, the better. It will allow you plenty of time to communicate more often before the visit, which will bring you CLOSER.

Beware...if you take this advice, you may find you need advice on a few other things! How to make more time for yourself, how to get your family member off your couch, etc.

Good Luck!

Emily