Any followers?

Anyone back there???

Last week I posted a little discussion on leadership, so this week I thought it would be appropriate to discuss how to get people to follow you.  I'm basing this advice on my experience as a human being and what I've observed over the last ehhhhh 20 plus years.  

Being a parent puts you in a prime position to re-evaluate the human experience. You get to see life play out through the eyes of your beloved child.  It also allows you the opportunity to dig back up old memories of experiences you had as a child and see them in a light that is quite a bit different with a few more miles on your tires.   And finally, parenthood requires that you get independent beings to go along with what you want them to do despite the fact that they really do not want to.  So I was thinking on how you could extrapolate what you do as a parent to get your toddler to follow you and tweak these approaches to be appropriate for adults.  Lets see if this will work....

• The treat trail

• Often times, I have employed (rather effectively) the use of a treat in order to get my kids to follow me.  (To you judgers out there; judge away HERE---it's effective though).  In a way, this trailing of treats, or promising of treats is employed often in marriages, friendships, even in work.  
• EX:   Spoken by a spouse...."IF you do X (wash my car)  you will get Y (extra time to watch "Breaking Bad")"
• EX:  In working eenvironments..."Join us for an incredibly mind-numbing conference in LAS VEGAS and we'll pay for tons of entertainment and give you free stuff.

• Volume Control

• I love to sing, and my extensive karaoke experience has taught me that the use of volume can make all the difference when making music.  This is true too in your common conversation, and is an especially effective tool in trying to get people to pay attention to you.  With kids, you will often see parents employing the use of LOUD volume (a.k.a. yelling) to get the attention of their little darlings.  I've found that in the proper circumstance, speaking softly, but clearly, can also help you to garner the attention of a crowd.  
• Caveat:  Do not try this with a lot of extroverts that are drinking, they will be happy to speak right over your clever little quiet offering. 

• Hostage Hold

• If you have something people want, they will be more likely to listen to you or to follow you.  For instance, if I took your phone and put it in my office, I'd probably be seeing you in there pretty soon.  While small time thievery is likely not a great start to coercing someone to do something, it will get feet in the seats.  In our day to day home routine, shoes are put on in the car.    "Meet me in the car and we'll put on your shoes"  is a common chorus during mornings where we were supposed to be out the door 5 minutes ago.  Shoes are nice.  They cover your feet and allow you to be comfortable walking outside.  You kinda need them.  Therefore, you're probably going to get to the car a bit sooner than if we tried to put them on in your room, where you're surrounded by toys that you love and really want to play with RIGHT NOW instead of going to school.   

• This method can be utilized in a different way for adults by simply drowning out as many distractions as you possibly can.  On nights when I get an opportunity to go on a date with my spouse, if I am looking to have a conversation, I'm not going to the OC Fair.  I'm not going to a sports bar or any vortex of stimulation.  Because, if I want your attention, it will be a lot easier for me to get it if I'm not competing with anything.  On one of our first dates, my husband took me out on an electric boat ride in the harbor.  Because, he knew, he kind of wanted all of my attention and didn't want to have to compete for it.  And it wasn't until we were out there that I realized that I allowed this guy to take me hostage (in a good way, not a controversial one) and that it was pretty nice to just be together with him. 

 

 So if you want to get someone to follow you, or to be a part of your gang, try these things.  They may improve your outcomes or at least cause others to take notice that you have they're missing their shoes and phone.

 

How do you Lead?

image source: http://www.afs.org/blog/icl/?p=2824  

How do you lead?

By example?
By cajoling?
Haphazardly?  Accidentally?  
Do you shake off leadership like a person trying to run from a stray dog in Mexico?  Are your hands up and out in front of you waving in counter motion while your face reflects a sucked lemon expression?  Do you prefer to be led?  Are you hopelessly, obsessively, IN CHARGE of everything?  If so - are you unable to hear the pleas of those around you begging to be heard?

I've had plenty of bouts with leadership, and I readily admit that I've been all of these leaders.  I've been the person IN CHARGE when no one else wanted to be.  I've been the leader because of my qualifications -both real and perceived- and I've also been the leader as a result of the power combo: a habitual controlling nature and a pursuit of doing a million tasks at one time while juggling crystal vases.   
  
My favorite way to lead is by building consensus.  It is completely within my comfort zone and works well with the way I like to deal with people, but of course is tremendously flawed in certain situations.  Great for leading a girls night out, terrible in crisis.  I don't mind being in charge, and I'm sure my husband would gladly inform you of the ways in which I'm a bit of a power-monger. However, leading by consensus typically works well for me because it allows the opportunity for a group to participate in the decision-making process, which often times leads to greater engagement in the outcome.  

Leadership is important, and it is unique.  So, who are some of your favorite leaders?  What do they do well?  What can you emulate?  Because whether you are an active or a passive participant, you're leading in your own way.  Are you doing it with intention?  In what ways are you a terrific leader and in what ways could you improve?    

Are you a Rosa Parks?  A Jane Adams?  A Martha Stewart?  These are three of the names on the list of "The 25 Most Powerful Women in the Last Century"by Time Magazine. Take a look and find some inspiration by clicking on this link:  http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2029774_2029776,00.html

Or, take your research a little closer to home.  Whatever you decide to do, whether it be to lead or to joyfully participate, think about it a little bit.  Then get back to juggling your vases.