Fancy Pants

I love getting dressed up. Costume parties, formal events, or just getting ready for a date night all make me excited and cause me to dedicate a few minutes to composing an ensemble. So why in the world did I end up spending a whole bunch of money I didn't need to for a formal event a few weekends ago??? In a rush to find the "perfect" outfit, I purchased a number of items I really didn't need. Sound familiar?? Yeah, I thought so. Who hasn't dashed out for the final finishing touches to an outfit the day of an event, only to bring their new items home and realize they already had something pretty similar in their closet?

So here is what I am going to do next time:

First, I am going to mine the closets of my friends and family (you know who you are, so watch out!!!). Right after I had purchased my new dress, I went over to my sister's house. My sister has about 10 dresses that I could have worn (for FREE) and had just as much fun in.

Second, I am going to mine closets for shoes and handbags. The day of the fun event, I felt I NEEDED to purchase a clutch bag to go with my new dress. Yes, I was at the necessity stage in my frenzied retail hunt. I finally found somehting that I thought I had to have, only to bring it home and realize that the clutch bags I already had actually would have worked better. UGH. Out of pride, I still used the new bag, so if anyone needs to borrow a white clutch, you know who to call. Shoes and bags are a LOT easier to borrow than dresses. And, it seems pretty rare that you need a fancy handbag. You want one to look nice, and compliment your entire outfit, but the number of times it is actually used seems like a pretty low number.

Third, I am going to try and give myself a deadline for these events! No more second guessing!!!! Sure, I'm in posession of another dress and new handbag due to my second guessing, but looking back, I would have looked just fine in one of my original options. My last minute panic that I was going to look like a bag lady next to everyone else was just fueled by insecurity -not reality. And a new dress, while a temporary fix to some levels of insecurity, is going to be an expensive way to keep my confidence up!!

The Answers

Have you ever continued to ask the same question over and over again, only to find that you don't like the answers you get? That has been happening to me quite a bit lately. When I first had my second child, I kept asking other moms with kids close in age

"It will get easier - right?"

And pretty unanimously, they would respond (with varying levels of sensitivity):

"No."



or: "You're in the easy part. It will get harder before it gets easier, so enjoy what you have in this moment. "



and: "It will get easier.....in like, 2 years."

I kept searching for the answer I wanted, and continued to get the answer that was correct instead. I attended a parenting meeting last Friday, looking for more answers. It was a typical parenting meeting; depressing, enlightening, scary, and confusing with random nuggets of information that were helpful. One of the "experts" speaking to us parents shared a nugget of information that I found to be inspirational.

He told us that the top athletes understand 3 keys to success:

1. Understand what needs to be done
We may not want to do it, but understanding what needs to be done, educating ourselves so that we are able to understand the tasks at hand, or working with the right people to direct us to the right tasks is the first step.

2. Be persistent

3. Have Endurance

While these simple instructions weren't what I necessarily wanted to hear, I think they were probably what I needed to hear. Realizing that challenges, no matter what they are, can be met with such a simple formula allowed me to feel a little more confident in addressing the tough roads ahead. Sure, I may be pushing boulders uphill in order to achieve the things I need to achieve, but at least having faith that I am doing the right things to get where I need to go afforded me a little freedom from wasting time second-guessing my methods.

My question, the one I've been asking over and over again:

"Am I doing this right?"

In a sense, was answered. In order to get the results you desire, follow the three steps. I may look back on this later and regret the time I've spent relishing this oversimplification, but for right now, for the challenges I'm working on, this answer FINALLY seems right. And manageable. So if nothing else, I hope this helps you simplify and feel peace about your challenges too.